Memories
by LadyCissyMalfoy
Summary: This is a fanfiction based on a series of memories through Katniss Everdeen's life told through her eyes. Rated M because well.. it is the Hunger Games!
1. Part 1: Pre-Games

_**A/N:**__** Hello everyone! I thought I'd give a Cato/Katniss fic another shot and see how it goes. It will be made into several parts, all of which are memories of Katniss' told through her perspective. There will be Everlark in them as well, but this is mostly my take on what could have happened. All rights to Suzanne Collins, and May the odds be ever in your favor **___

___**PART ONE: PRE-GAMES **_

___An 11; I couldn't believe it. I was sure after I shot the apple at the Game Makers I would be given the first 1 in Hunger Games history. But, I was proven wrong and everyone around me saw a cause to celebrate the "Girl on Fire". I, however, didn't feel the need for celebration. After tomorrow, I would be put into the arena for a fight to the death, and that didn't seem celebration worthy at all. _

_ So I went up to the roof top, watching the Capitolites below me celebrating the arrival and scores of all the tributes; placing bets, celebrating in the streets, unknowing of the savageness of their behavior. Looking to the sky, I couldn't help but wonder if Gale was also staring into the stars, hoping that he could somehow come to terms with my "deployment." I sighed, knowing that Gale would be more worried about his family, and taking care of Prim and my mother until my untimely demise or my safe return back to District Twelve. I looked around the roof top, noticing the beautiful flowers and greenery, and wondered who took care of all the plants. Beautiful lilies, hostas, petunias, palms, roses— Roses, like my Prim, my little duck, the reason I volunteered. _

_ I heard footsteps, my hunting instincts kicking in and turned to face my intruder. I stopped cold; my face void of any emotion as I saw the brutal monster from District Two standing before me._

_ "What are you doing here?" my voice was cold, yet surprisingly soft._

_He smirked at me, his ice blue eyes gleaming in the brightness of the city nightlife._

"_I came to get away; you know, Twelve, you scoring an 11 has put a large target on your back. People are pretty upset that such a rat could score so highly."_

_I watched him closely, not giving any sign or recognition, or any emotion to his statements. Of course the Careers would be upset; someone from the lower districts outshined them, and in more ways than one. _

_ He sat down on one of the plush chairs, putting his hands behind his head, his blue eyes not leaving my own grey ones._

_ "Clove, my district partner, seems to have quite the plan for your death."_

_I scoffed slightly; of course the little knife thrower from Two would be premeditating my death, in hopes for being the one to get rid of the Girl on Fire._

"_Is that all you Careers do? Premeditate murder and take joy in others despair?"_

_The smirk that once graced his features seemed to vanish within seconds, and before I knew it, I was being slammed against the wall._

"_Is that what you think?! Huh!? What! Think just because you're the Girl on Fire means that we'll just bow down to you and let you live?! You're nothing but district trash, _sweetheart._"_

_His voice was unwavering and menacing all at once, causing fear to course through my body as he spoke. I held my gaze with his own, noticing the true iciness of his eyes. _Like water to extinguish fire;_ I have found my biggest opponent, my biggest obstacle in getting home to District Twelve._

_ But that's when I feel it: this internal rage at hearing him call me district trash, as if I'm burning from the inside out. I feel the look of hatred plastered on both of our faces, and I can see the sanity slipping from his features._

_ "Then lets finish it right here right now!"__2_

_I'm seething; he is the one who intruded on _my _space, trying to begin small talk to intimidate me to throw me off in the Games. But I'm smarter than that, and I won't let that happen. But what happens next, does throw me off guard, and sends my emotions soaring into oblivion._

_ "Just what I thought, Fire Girl; beautiful, naïve, and tempered."_

_ The sanity that had disappeared only moments before was now once again apparent in the ice cold irises of the brutal monster. I was stunned, hearing the words escape his mouth._ Beautiful_; the words ring out through my mind as they begin to sink in, but as soon as they sink in, my facial features harden and I find myself bearing my teeth at him, like a rabid animal on the attack._

_ "You're a brutal bloody monster!"_

_His grip tightens on my arms, and I can see the sanity slipping once again from my features. I know that I have probably crossed the line, but what happens next catches me off guard: he kisses me._

_ I am furious; Peeta decided of all nights to profess his undying love for me on national television where all of Panem can hear. How could he do such a thing?! He made me look weak! He made me look like some District Twelve floosy that struts their stuff to anyone by the slag heap! But Haymitch said he made me look _desirable._ Who would want to desire me? Why would I want to be desired by anyone? Cinna attempted to calm me down, but after pushing Peeta into that vase, fury coursing my veins, nothing could stop me from being livid. _

_ I wanted to run away; escape this place and hide in the woods for the rest of my life with Prim; no Hunger Games, no starvation, just us against the world. I wandered to the roof; my silky green night gown feeling cool against my warm skin seemed to relax me slightly: Until he showed up again._

_ "Stalking me now are you Two?"_

_I turned to see Cato standing only a few feet behind me, his arms crossed and his head tilted backwards as if he was examining me._

_ "So the star-crossed lovers of District Twelve… How… sweet."_

_I roll my eyes, turning to face the streets of the Capitol, watching the people below us celebrate the evening before the opening of the Hunger Games. Why would Peeta pick such a night to do this kind of thing? Why would I spend my last night alive with this pompous jerk?_

_ "Oh shut it Cato. You have _no_ idea what you're talking about."  
Before I know it, I'm being shoved up against the building once again, but this time with Cato's hand wrapped around my neck._

"_You and your Lover Boy are just trying to get sponsors to save your sorry asses! You think I have no idea what I'm talking about Fire Girl?! Take a look around you, and see who is the one pinned against a damn building!"_

_My eyes are wide, filling with fear and uncertainty. Would he really kill me, right here, right now, even though it was illegal until we got into the arena?_

_ "You wouldn't dare touch a hair on my head."_

_I'm gambling with fate here, and she must have been on my side as he released me, sighing, and turning away from me. I move away from the wall and closer to the guard rail, knowing if he tried to push me off the force field would keep me from falling to my death._

_ "I'm sorry, I overreacted. Things are stressed on my floor."_

_ His apology startles me, and I don't know what to say to it. It's not every day a Career turns lose a lower district and apologizes to them all in the same day._

_ "You don't love him, do you Katniss?"_

_His question rattles me somehow, as if he can see right through me and know that I _don't_ love Peeta, that I may have feelings for another._

"_No, Cato, I don't. I don't love Peeta; I barely even know him. I owe him though, for saving my life before, but I don't love him."_

_Cato smirks and strides over to stand next to me, leaning slightly on the guard rail, watching the mass parties below us. _

_ "He doesn't deserve you Katniss."_

_ His words startle me; I look at him, confusion and awe knitting my brow as I wait for an explanation. _

_ "What do you mean?"_

_He sighs, still watching the ground below us as if he's looking for the correct words to say. _

"_He'd never know what to do with you. You're full of fire, you could start a rebellion with one look of those smoky eyes of yours, and he still would tag along like a love sick puppy."_

_I watched him curiously as he spoke, watching the emotions in his eyes as the words trailed from his lips._

"_Maybe you're right. But it doesn't give you the right to talk about him like that."_

_Cato tenses for a moment, before finally looking at me; his icy eyes seem to bear into my soul, causing me to shift slightly in place._

"_Maybe someone else wants you. Maybe someone else wants to show you how he feels about the Girl on Fire."_

_I laugh slightly, shaking my head and looking down to the crowded streets once again. This was pure insanity, talking to my enemy about such private matters only hours before we would be placed into the arena._

"_Like who, Cato? Everyone back home expects me to end up married to Gale with children. I don't want any of that; I can't afford any of that. Love only destroys you once you lose the person."_

_He scoffs lightly, shaking his head and turning around. I inch up behind him silently, my arms crossed at my chest as if to guard my heart as I approach him._

"_From the moment I saw you at the Reaping replays, I knew I had met my match; that you were the one to be taken out first in order to go home; you, Katniss Everdeen, are quite literally the most dangerous person in these games. You are beautiful, intelligent, fiery, and most importantly, you have something worth fighting for."_

_He turns this time to look at me, an emotion filling his eyes that I can't seem to place, nor do I want to know the truth of._

_ "And I would do _anything_ in this world to make sure you make it out alive."_


	2. Part 2: The Games

_**A/N:**__**Thank you for the reviews! I have given the idea some thought, and no, this will not be a total tragedy. I will however take any suggestions for future memories! All rights to the wonderful Suzanne Collins; I own nothing.**_

_**PART 2: THE GAMES**_

I'm standing on my pedestal, taking in my surroundings as the countdown begins. I had devised a plan for the blood bath, all in hopes that I wouldn't get slaughtered by the other Careers. I took a look at my surroundings and thanked my lucky stars that they decided on a forest setting for the arena. I looked to my left to see Cato a few tributes down from me, a look of concentration plastered on his face as his body tensed, ready to spring into action at any moment. I looked to the Cornucopia: 30, 29, 28… I didn't have much time left. I saw the bow and arrows, beautiful and glinting in the sunlight. I looked to my right; 19 seconds left. Peeta had seen me look at the Cornucopia, and shook his head at me as if he knew what I was thinking.

I turned my attention back to the countdown; only 8 seconds. My mind begins to race. Get the bow, run, find a water source, get in a tree and stay hidden. Haymitch would kill me for defying his last parting words to me, but I hoped Cato would stay true to his word.

5, 4, 3…

I love you Prim; stay strong Gale.

2, 1, GONG!

The minute I heard the gong sound I took off running as fast as I could towards the Cornucopia. I reached it only seconds before the other Careers, grabbing my bow and arrows and heading towards the woods. As I ran to the right, I attempted to grab a pack before taking off, but before I knew it I was being tackled to the ground by another tribute. But within seconds he rolled off me, a knife stuck in his back. I immediately began to panic, looking up to see Cato giving me a nod. I took off in a flash, not even bothering to look back to see the rest of the blood bath. Why would he do that? Was he trying to get us both killed? There's no time to think about this right now, I need to get out of here.

* * *

I had found water; there was a small spring a few miles west of the Cornucopia and I was quite thankful for it. I had decided to tie myself in a tree, even though I had the bow and arrows, it was still a safe idea. I stared up to the sky, wondering if Peeta was still alive, somewhere out there. Would he be playing up the star-crossed lovers act? Is Haymitch sending him parachutes as we speak? I didn't have much time to think about it as I noticed smoke coming up only a few hundred feet away from my tree. I leaned forward slightly, seeing the District Nine female tribute trying to warm her hands over a fire. I rolled my eyes slightly and leaned back into the tree; how stupid could she be? No matter how cold you are, you shouldn't light fires at night unless you want the enemy to find you.

That's when I heard it: this blood curdling scream and then a canon. Someone found her, and not shortly after, I could hear the laughter of the Careers. I stayed as silent and still as I could, hoping none of them would hear or see me.

"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

The blonde from District One was imitating the poor girl they just murdered, and the others seemed to laugh along with her imitation.

"Good one Glimmer! You sound just like her!"

I knew that voice and couldn't help but to look down to see him standing there, his arms wrapped around her waist. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, anger starting to take hold of me. Of course he was all over her; she was beautiful and deadly; she was a Career. I stopped for a moment and shook my head slightly. Why would that even matter? I don't have feelings for him; he's a Career and a brutal monster. I have to kill him to get home to Prim; Just like I have to kill Peeta.

Oh my. What have I gotten myself into?

* * *

I am quite literally, the Girl _on_ Fire. My leg is scorched, and I'm running as fast as I can to get away from the woodland inferno that I'm sure the Gamemakers started to get a little action for the Games. I found a small lake, jumping in without second thought as my skin sizzled when it hit the clear, cool waters.

"THERE SHE IS! THE GIRL ON FIRE!"

I looked up to see the Careers coming after me full speed, and I began to panic. What was I going to do? I was sure I couldn't outrun them with my injured leg, but I had to do something.

"Let's get her!"

I scrambled out of the water, making a beeline for the trees. I knew they were right on my tail, so I had no choice but to go up.

_Up; _that was going to hurt. I attempted to climb the nearest tree, when I heard their voices approaching closer. Oh crap, this is it. I'm going to die on national television. But when I looked down, I could tell that none of them would be able to climb to the height I was at; if I was lucky. I situated myself on the highest branch I could go when I heard Cato calling up to me.

"I'm coming for you!"1

I looked down to meet his gaze, watching him scale the tree with his sword in hand. I panted and began trying to form an escape plan, when I heard a branch snap and a large thud hit the ground. I looked down and smiled; he was too heavy to climb up to me and his weight caused him to fall.

I watched closely, listening to them argue on who was going up the tree next, when I heard it.

"Why don't we just wait her out? She can't hide up there forever, or else she'll starve to death."

I knew that voice; it was the voice of Peeta Mellark, the Boy with the Bread, the one who saved my life. And now, he was trying to kill me.

"Shut up Lover Boy! No one asked you!"

"Quiet Marvel! Lover Boy, set up the tent. Clove, you and Glimmer go get firewood. Marvel… Just.. go see if there's any other tributes nearby."

I noticed then that Cato had established himself leader of the pack, and if they didn't do what he said, they met an instant death. Maybe it was a good thing that they decided to camp out in front of the tree; none of them knew I was fully armed and dangerous.

As the Careers settled in below me, I began formulating a plan. I could take them all out, one by one, with the bow, and hopefully none of them would wake up to notice it. Right now, they were all gathered around the fire. Cato was heating the tip of his sword in the fire, making the sharp weapon burn red with heat, while Marvel seemed to stare off into the fire, thinking of something only he would know about. Clove, Cato's district partner, was trying to teach I think her name is Glimmer, how to throw knives.

"Seriously?! How in the hell are you a Career!?"

Glimmer glared at the brunette next to her, turning back to see that both boys were laughing at her as she missed target after target.

"I'll show you!"

Cato and Marvel seemed to laugh even harder as Glimmer threw the small knife towards the tree, the angle she threw it at caused it to veer to the left, into the trees. Clove covered her eyes and shook her head slightly, as if disappointed that Glimmer couldn't do something as simple as hit a tree with a knife. That is, until the canon sounded.

Everyone seemed to go into all seriousness as the canon sounded; Cato jumped up from his spot, his muscles coiling and ready to spring into action. Almost immediately afterward, the sky lit up with the seal of Panem, ready to show off the dead tributes of the day. That's when I saw him, the one person I thought I would have to kill but didn't, the one person I owed my very life too, was now dead and by the bad aim of a Career: Peeta Mellark.

"Oh my Victor… Glimmer… You killed LOVER BOY!"

Clove's voice was full of pride and surprise, while Marvel whooped and hollered in joy that Glimmer had taken out a tribute, even if it was by accident. I sat on the branch emotionless; Peeta was dead, and there was nothing I could do about it. Oh, but there was. I grabbed the bow and loaded it, aiming straight for Glimmer's head.

I released the arrow, sinking it straight into her temple, her perfect golden hair stained with red. Now I knew my secret had been discovered, my cover blown; the whole world now knew I had a skill for archery. The remaining Careers stopped their small celebration to see their fallen ally, her eyes lifeless and the forest floor covered in her blood. I quickly reloaded and aimed straight at them, as if daring them to try anything. Cato looked up at me, a smirk playing at his features while Marvel sat by Glimmer's body, unsure what to do now that his district partner was dead.

"THAT'S IT! SHE'S MINE CATO I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY! THE DISTRICT TWELVE RAT IS MINE!"

Clove was seething with rage as she grabbed a knife from her jacket and launched it at me, only to have it stick itself into a branch just below me.

"Sure Clove… you have it handled alright."

Clove let out a groan of frustration and anger, knowing not to waste anymore knives on me. I decided to release the arrow near their feet as warning shot. I wasn't playing around anymore.

* * *

I had blown up the Career's supplies; Rue and I had allied shortly after Peeta's death and had devised a plan to get everyone on the same level in the Games. I had sent her off to light distraction fires, in hopes that the Careers would go investigate them and leave their precious supplies untouched. But what I hadn't anticipated is that the supplies were guarded by landmines, and if it hadn't been for Foxface, the District Five tribute, dancing around the mines, I wouldn't have known and been blown to bits. I had sent the arrow flying at a bag of apples, watched them tumble down and set off the mines, and unintentionally, sending myself flying backwards from the explosion.

I had tried to get out of there as fast as I could, but the explosion left my hearing somewhat impaired, making it more difficult to balance and walk properly. But I heard it; the small, childish screaming of my name. Rue was in danger and I had to help her. I ran as fast as I could, calling out her name until I saw her in a meadow under a large net, trapped like an animal. I quickly got her out of the contraption, pulling her close to me, shushing her like I would Prim after a nightmare.

"It's okay, it's okay. I'm here now."

I pulled away from her slightly, checking her over for any injuries that would need to be attended to but I couldn't see anything. I sighed in relief, only to notice her eyes go wide in fear.

"KATNISS!"

I turned to see the District One Career hurdling a spear towards us when I loaded my bow and shot him through the chest, killing him instantly. That's when I turned to see the spear sticking not out of a tree, but Rue's diaphragm.

It was all over; I couldn't help her, and it was all my fault. I held her close to me, tears streaming down my face as I watched the life slowly drain from her features.

"Did you blow up the food?"

I nodded, sniffling, and rubbed her cheek gently with my thumb. This wasn;t happening, she was not dying here.

"Will you sing to me?"

I choked up slightly, knowing this was truly it, that I had no one left here in the arena now that she was gone. So I did the best I could, singing a song that now held some truth to it.

_"Deep in the meadow, under the willow._

_A bed of grass; a soft green pillow._

_Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes._

_And when again they open, the sun will rise._

_Here it's safe; here it's warm._

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm._

_Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow will bring them true._

_Here is the place where I love you."_

I couldn't do it anymore. She was gone, Peeta was gone, and I had nothing left. Everything that I thought I could keep safe had blown up in my face, and I was a failure for it.

I cried; I screamed, banged my fists against her body in agony. I couldn't do this any longer, they had broken me, turned me into the monster I had become. My body was racked with sobs as I scrubbed my hands furiously to get the dried blood off of them, Rue's blood at that. I wasn't worthy to go home to Prim, my mother, and Gale anymore. I was a piece in the Capitol's games. I was a brutal killer.

So when I heard three canons sound off, I thought that I had finally died from grief, but in reality, I was far from death itself.

* * *

Twenty-two dead, two still alive; Cato and I had made it to the final two, and I knew I would have to die, that I wouldn't be able to take him on unless it was long distance. Thresh had killed Clove yesterday at the Feast, in which I received mood stabilizers from the Capitol. I mean, who wants a half crazed tribute as their Victor? Then Foxface, she had the misfortune of eating nightlock berries, and I found her as she stuffed herself with them. I had stolen a few of them from the stash she had in her now dead hands, and kept them close to me. After her death, the Gamemakers must have been ready to end things since it was around noon, but the moon hung brightly in the sky, the stars shining brightly. Not long after the time change, another canon sounded and Foxface's and Thresh's face lit the sky as the anthem played. I had been so distracted that I hadn't heard the approaching footsteps, catching me off guard as I was tackled to the ground by a snarling beast with large teeth and claws. I fought my way out of its grip and ran towards the Cornucopia, hoping that I could hopefully get to safety there, but I was wrong.

As I scaled the side of the Cornucopia, I could hear the mutts gathering around the bottom, trying to scale along with me in hopes of having a fresh tribute for dinner. But as I reached the top, I was shoved down roughly, someone pinning me down with all their weight, blood dripping from their face. Cato; Thresh must have gotten a few hits himself before his end. I tried to fight back, kicking my legs, biting at his arms like a wild animal. I was feral; I had lost everything that I held dear with one knife and one spear. But I couldn't let Cato kill me; I couldn't go out that way. If I was going to die, it was going to be on my terms and no one else's.

"Where do you think you're going Fire Girl?"

He smirked down at me, his teeth stained with the blood that filled his mouth. I fought even harder, knowing if I couldn't get to the nightlock then he would kill me slowly, dramatically, and I didn't want Prim to see me die like that.

"Did you really think I meant all those things on the roof top? Did you really think, that after all the years I trained for this, that I would let _you,_  
some District Twelve Seam rat, escape as Victor of these Games?"

He laughed, but it came out in a weird, twisted, insane way that made my insides turn. Had I been somewhat stupid enough to believe him? Had he used me to make me turn on Peeta in the end? Maybe he did, and maybe I had been wrong about not loving Peeta.

"Go ahead then, kill me. You've already won; I'm nothing without Peeta."

The look of excitement and joy in his face at overpowering me left his features, only to be replaced by one of anger and insanity.

"_You are nothing! You are worthless! It's because of you that he's dead! Did you know Fire Girl, I planned on killing him slowly, in front of you?  
I wanted you to see the light leave his eyes, and I wanted to relish in seeing you go mad, watching your precious Lover Boy die right in front of you!"_

He wrapped his hands around my neck, applying pressure with every sentence. I could start to see blurry spots in my vision, and I knew I was at the end.

"But now I have shown you and all of Panem that it doesn't matter if you're the Girl on Fire or not, you're just worthless  
Distract trash that I'm ridding of in this world!"

He began applying more pressure, and I found myself gasping for air. The blurriness was becoming thicker, my lungs burned for oxygen that it wasn't receiving.

I gave up, knowing that my death would be the end of my pain, and the pain that I have caused others. I gave up knowing that Gale would take care of Prim and my mother, that they would be safe and alive. I gave up knowing that I had saved Prim from the Games; and that, was worth dying for.

"I love you Prim."

It barely came out, but I hope the cameras caught it so Prim could still see that I loved her, that I died thinking and loving her.

My life began flashing before me as the darkness took over; my father singing "The Hanging Tree" while we made rope necklaces. Prim's face when I brought Lady home to her as a birthday present. Gale and I hunting in the woods, while making fun of Effie Trinket's Capitol accent on Reaping Day. Madge giving me the mockingjay pin right before we left for the Capitol. Peeta, my precious Peeta, tossing me the bread in the rain; the bread that saved my life and Prim's. Effie Trinket calling out Prim's name at the Reaping; me volunteering to save my sister's life. Rue singing her four note tune, her arms slightly extended, standing on her toes as if she was about to take flight. I look into his eyes one last time, knowing I had been played for a fool, and he had me where he wanted me.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE VICTORS OF THE 74TH ANNUAL HUNGER GAMES: CATO MARTIN OF DISTRICT TWO AND KATNISS EVERDEEN OF DISTRICT TWELVE!"

And that was the last thing I heard when everything went black.


	3. Part Three: Victors

_**Part Three: Victors**_

_ I'm floating on air; I can see Rue, smiling at me. She has the same innocent look, her brown eyes dancing with delight as I move towards her. I feel happy, I feel free. I feel as if no one can touch me, hurt me, or betray me here. I must be in heaven; I look to my left and see Peeta standing there with a smile, my father next to him with open arms. This is it, I am finally home._

"I will not do this! I will not pretend to love her for some sick Capitolites!"

"You have no choice Cato! The districts are in an uproar because they no longer have the star-crossed lovers! If you both don't do this we'll all be in danger!  
Hell, Snow is pissed already that the two of you came out alive! But Seneca Crane believes that having you and the Girl on Fire together will make all the districts  
happy and the Capitol. So do as I say boy!"

"I don't have to listen to you Brutus! I am a _victor_ now! Not your tribute in training anymore!"

"Listen here brute, if you don't do this, Snow _will_ kill your family, he _will_ kill Katniss' family, and he _will_ make both of your lives a living hell. Now,  
I'm not saying you have to marry her, or have kids with her, but you damn well be ready to show her every bit of affection you can muster while you're in public.  
You may be a victor, but if it wasn't for Brutus, you wouldn't be here. Now, since she is your co-victor, I am you co-mentor, and Brutus is her co-mentor as well.  
So shut up, man up, and get this done and over with!"

* * *

_ I am back in District Twelve; I can see Prim, my mother and Gale. They are waiting for something or someone as they stand stoically. I call out to them, waving my arms frantically so they could see me. But they never move, never acknowledge me. _

_ "Prim! Primrose!"_

_But nothing; that's when I see it, the pine box covered in the same flowers I was named for. Carrying the pine box passed them, is Thom, Darius, and a few other Hob members. Behind them, Peeta's brothers and friends carry another pine box, much larger than the one before it, covered in several different wild flowers._

_ Prim begins to cry as the pine boxes pass her; her innocent face stained with tears as my mother pulls her closer, her own tears streaming down her thin face. That's when I realize they can't hear me because they can't see me that I no longer exist. I get closer to the meadow only to see two headstones placed side by side, with epitaphs that send chills through my body:_

_PEETA MELLARK_

_16 YEARS OLD_

_74__TH__ HUNGER GAMES TRIBUTE_

_KATNISS EVERDEEN_

_16 YEARS OLD_

_74__TH__ HUNGER GAMES TRIBUTE_

_THE GIRL ON FIRE_

_I am dead. I no longer exist. I see Prim fall to the ground next to my grave, screaming out my name as they lower my coffin into the ground. I want nothing more than comfort her, tell her that I'll always be with her and that I still love her. I look up, my own tears starting to form when I see him._

_ "Peeta…"_

_He smiles sadly at me as I approach him, my arms extending to touch his face._

_ "Katniss… We're better off here. They're safe now, they always will be."_

_Suddenly there's a bright light and I look into it, to see beautiful blue eyes bear into my gray ones._

_ "_Peeta… Don't leave me please."

He stays silent, unsure of what to say next, but what he does say, leaves me feeling relaxed and comforted, knowing he would never lie to me.

"Always."

* * *

_ I'm running from the mutts, heading as fast as I can towards the Cornucopia to safety. I can feel their claws scratching at me as I climb the sides, only to be met with Cato's piercing stare and insane smile._

_ "You're as good as dead Fire Girl!"_

_I reach the top and freeze, panicking as I realize there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I take a step back and reach for my bow and arrow only to realize I no longer I have it. I look down to see it on the ground, gleaming in the moonlight while the mutts circle around it. Suddenly, I'm pushed to the ground, my hair dangling over the edge of the Cornucopia with Cato's hands wrapped around my neck._

"_You are worthless Katniss Everdeen. You couldn't save your precious Lover Boy or your precious little Rue from us. You can't even save yourself.  
You are nothing; you are worse than the bacteria that inhabit Panem."_

_I begin gasping for air as the tears stream down my face as I realize the truth to his words. I was worthless, I was weak for not saving Rue and Peeta. _

_ I can feel the mutts attempting to grab at my braid when he flips me to stomach, my face facing downwards to the mutts. That's when I began to truly notice them; some of them with dark fur, one with red, and a few with golden fur. I notice the collars on their neck, and that's when I feel myself getting sick. One was labeled in a coal black leather collar, with gold TWELVE embroidered into it. It's coat was soft waves of gold, the eyes, a calming blue that clashed with the anger in its features. It was Peeta, except this Peeta wanted to kill me._

_ I truly begin to cry as the realization sets in. The night before the rooftop where I spent with Cato and told him I didn't love Peeta in that way, I was wrong. I did love Peeta, and I had only said it out of spite for him using it as a ploy to get us sponsors in the Games. It took me losing him, seeing him in mutt form at my imminent death that I realized I loved Peeta Mellark. And I could never be with him again._

_ "Times up Fire Girl."_

_His sadistic smile as he snaps my neck makes me scream._

I am screaming; sitting up in the bright room, needles and tubing attached to my arms as I cry. How long had I been out for? Was I truly dead? Was I alive in the Capitol? I shook slightly as the sobs racked my body when I heard the one voice I had longed to hear since the arena.

"It's alright now sweetheart. Everything's okay."

Haymitch sat on the edge of my bed and hugged me as I cried. He was the closest thing to a father figure that I had, and it was nice to see a familiar face.

"H..How long have I been out for?"

He snorted a bit, pulling away from me to reach for a flask in his suit pocket.

"About two weeks. We weren't sure if you were going to make it or not. Your mental state wasn't at its peak…  
and your neck was badly bruised by the time they got you into the hovercraft."

I sat there taking in all his words. So I was alive, but was I victor of the Hunger Games? Why was I saved? None of this made sense to me.

"But why Haymitch? Cato had me pinned. He was going to kill me. They only needed one Victor."

Haymitch sighed and took a large swig from the flask, staring at the ground before answering me in a more than serious tone.

"When Peeta was killed by that idiot Career girl from One, many people lost a bit of interest in the Games when the star-crossed lovers could be no more.  
However, when you mourned over that little girl from Eleven, then gave up willingly to Cato, professing your love to your sister, things got out of control.  
Eleven tried to rebel, things got a little heated in Twelve and Three, Four, Five, Seven, and Eight went crazy. Seneca Crane, being as genius as he thinks he is,  
decided last minute to qualm the districts from getting a martyr by letting both you and the brute from Two be crowned as co-victors.  
Snow however is pissed. People in the Capitol are happy, because they are under the impression that you and Cato havea secret romance with each other."

I look away from Haymitch as he finishes; how could this happen? Why would they make me look like I am in love with the boy who tried to kill me?

"What if I don't want too Haymitch? I can't even look at him, let alone pretend to love him."

"You have too sweetheart, or Snow will kill us all."

* * *

It had only been a few hours since Haymitch had broken the news to me about Cato and I. What was Seneca Crane thinking when he devised this little scheme? Was he trying to save himself, or was he trying to save his precious Games? I heard a knock at the door and straightened myself up in bed when the door opened, only to reveal the last person that I wanted to see right now.

"What are you doing here?"

Cato had a cold look etched into his features as he ventured in, closing the door behind him. I immediately pulled my legs closer to me, my eyes wary of his presence in my room.

"I just wanted to see if it was true, that you were finally awake. We have an interview with Caesar Flickerman tomorrow evening.  
I assume that your drunkard of a mentor has informed you of our situation."

I nodded once, letting my gaze venture to the window on my right. Even in our "situation", I wasn't sure I could handle pretending to be in love with him.

"I came to see you a couple of times while you were out. You woke up once, called me Peeta, and passed out again."

I looked back to him, my face emotionless as I let his confession sink in.

Had I really done that? Had I really called him Peeta?

"You set me up. You told me all those things on the rooftop to mess with my head before the Games. You made me think that I couldn't love Peeta that  
someone like you did. You're the reason I stayed away from him. You used my own anger against me. You are nothing like him."

He shakes his head, a small laugh escaping his lips. I watched him closely, anger building up inside me as he laughed at my pain.

"It worked didn't it? You know, I could have won these Games if it wasn't for Seneca and his stupid ideas. Did you really think I could love someone like you?"

His words sting like a thousand tracker jackers. Had I really thought that someone like him could truly love me? No, of course not; then why did it a hurt so much?

"Maybe I did. But I realize now that you will _never _take Peeta's place. He was twice the man you are, and you are the one who is worthless."

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as the words spilled out of my mouth. I could tell he was entertained at the idea of playing with my head again, and I couldn't let that happen.

"Whatever you say Fire Girl; just let me do the talking tomorrow night. We both know you suck on camera."

That was it; I couldn't contain my anger much longer. I grabbed the knife from my lunch tray, whipping it straight as his head, missing only by an inch as the knife protruded from the wooden door.

"GET OUT YOU FILTHY MONSTER! GET OUT! YOU ARE NOTHING WORSE THAN THE CAPITOL'S MUTTS!"

And with that, an angered look crossed his face as he exited out the door, slamming it behind him as he left.

* * *

My prep team had spent the entire day preparing me for tonight's interview with Caesar. They had doted on me, telling me that they had told anyone who would listen that I would become victor of these games, and that they always believed in me. I tuned out most of their conversation as they waxed, plucked, and trimmed away at any body hair, leaving me hairless with a soft glow. I was dreading tonight, having to spend it acting like I was in love with someone who was definitely incapable of loving someone other than himself. Before long, the prep team left, and Cinna entered, still the same as ever. A smile crept into my features, and I before I knew it, I had thrown myself at him wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I told you I was betting on you Katniss."

His words comfort me in a strange way, knowing that he still believed I was the same girl who volunteered for her sister at the Reaping. Maybe I still was.

"I don't know if I can do this Cinna. I don't know if I can pretend to love him. I feel like I'm betraying…"

My words trailed off as I began to think of the Boy with the Bread, tears filling my eyes up as I attempt to choke out of his name.

"You aren't Katniss. Before you know it, it will all be over with. Just remember, I'll be out in the audience if you need reassurance. Haymitch and Brutus have been  
coaching him on it since you both came out of the arena. Everything will be fine, my Girl on Fire."

I smile lightly; Cinna always knew how to comfort me, and maybe that's why I trusted him so much.

"Come on now, I have something for you tonight that is fit for a queen."

Cinna was truly amazing; the dress for tonight's interview was just as, if even more amazing than the one from the tribute interviews. Soft golden silk clung to every curve, the neckline swooping down without showing too much skin, the sleeves at a three-quarter length while gold material pooled around my perfectly manicured toes. Effie couldn't stop making a fuss over my appearance; tucking a stray curl into place, dabbing a pale pink lip gloss over my lips. As we boarded the elevator down to the lobby, I couldn't help but to feel nervous. What if all of this blew up in our faces? What if Snow decided to kill our families anyhow, as a warning that we were still in his control? Haymitch took a quick swig from his flask as the elevator descended, swallowing loudly before beginning to speak.

"Now, Brute boy has the floor tonight. You follow his lead. Brutus and I have been working closely with him to make sure everything goes according to plan. If he places  
a hand on your leg, don't flinch. If he grabs your hand, don't pull away. We have to make this look believable sweetheart. If you can't convince yourself,then convince me."

I looked over to him, fear evident in my eyes as he spoke. How was I going to do this? We all knew I was the worst actress in the world, so how was I supposed to convince the nation of my love affair with Cato?

I didn't have time to respond as the doors to the elevator opened, revealing the doors surrounded by camera crews and reporters. I stepped out of the elevator, my breath hitching in my throat as I saw him. He looked regal as ever donned in a dark blue suit with gold cufflinks and golden tie to match me. I walked over to him slowly, keeping my face clean of any emotion as he noticed me.

"Ready _darling_?"

He scoffed at my words, shaking his head lightly before taking my arm and escorting me through the doors and into the limo waiting for us. I swore I could hear Haymitch laughing, knowing that tonight was going to be a long night.

* * *

"I now introduce to you ladies and gentlemen, this year's 74th Hunger Games victors: Cato Martin and Katniss Everdeen!"

The crowd went wild as Cato and I emerged onto the stage, hand in hand as we made our way over to Caesar. Cato had my hand clasped tightly to his, as if to say he was in control tonight and not to screw it up. As we sat down, I smiled lightly, looking at him with as much affection as I could muster up. I looked around the stage to see mine and Cato's prep teams, our stylists, district escorts and mentors seated on the stage with us. I smiled to Cinna, knowing as long as he was there everything would be just fine. That's when they started the replay of the Games. That's when I lost all control.

The gong sounding as the Games began, zooming in on Cato and I as I grabbed the bow and arrows, running towards the woods only to be tackled by another tribute. Cato throwing the knife into the boy's back, giving me the nod of release as I ran into the safety of the woods. Him killing all those children in the blood bath; him snapping that little boy from Four's neck as if he was nothing but garbage. The blazing inferno that the Gamemakers had created to drive the tributes closer together with my leg being badly burned in the process as I ran from the blaze. The Careers' treeing me afterword, while they tried to climb up and drag me down. Peeta, my Peeta, suggesting they camp out because I couldn't stay up there forever and would have to come down at some point. Clove teaching Glimmer how to throw knives, with Glimmer failing miserably to hit the targets on the tree, but only to send the knife straight through Peeta's heart.

I began to shake slightly, watching it happen all over again, when I noticed the reassuring squeeze from Cato as we watched. I turned to look at him to see that he was fixated on the screen. I turned to see myself shooting Glimmer through the head with an arrow and blood spilling over the forest floor. I gripped his hand back, unsure of my emotions as they continued the recap. Could I really do this without giving it all away? Would I really be able to handle it all? I had my answer once they showed Rue and I as she was dying, and I completely lost it. The tears I had been holding back finally released themselves against my will. I could feel the sobs building up inside of me and I wasn't sure I could handle it much longer. I turned to look at Cato only to see that this time he was gauging my reaction. I finally let out a small sob and buried myself into his chest, unsure of my actions at this point. I couldn't do this; I couldn't handle all of this. Not here, not now, not ever.

When the recap was over, I stayed glued to Cato's side as if he truly was my only lifeline. My eyes were slightly swollen from crying, my mind drained from all the emotions that had swept through me all at once.

"Cato, Katniss, when did you two first realize you had feelings for each other?

I was thankful that Haymitch and Brutus had worked with Cato on this, because at this point, I was useless.

"During the tribute parade. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful and strong she was, and I would have done anything to get to know her."

There were a chorus of awe's from the crowd, and I too found myself falling for his words.

"When did you two actually admit feelings for one another?"

I looked up at him and knew instantly what his answer would be for that one.

"The night of the tribute interviews, after Peeta Mellark confessed his love for her, here on this very stage. I was mad at him; he had tried to take her away from me,  
even though I knew in the end it wouldn't work out. So, that night we met up on the rooftop of the Training Center and I told her I would do anything to have her  
make it out alive."

Another set of awe's washes over the crowd, and I find myself spacing out as Cato and Caesar continue the interview.

"Katniss, you aren't very sociable tonight, is everything alright?"

I snap out of my trance and smile lightly towards Caesar, even though I wanted nothing more than to bash his head in for such a stupid question.

"I'm fine, thank you, just a bit tired is all. I find that I can't sleep at night because I'm afraid it's all a dream, and if I wake up, Cato won't be beside me."

Caesar awes at me and I smile a bit more, turning to see that even Cato has a small smile plastered to his face. If this is what the game was between us, then two could play that way.

"Cato, tell me, now that you have the girl of your dreams to yourself, what do you plan to do next with her?"

Everyone seems to lean forward in their seats, as if anticipating another Cornucopia scene. I even find myself wondering on what those three have planned, as if I had much of a say in anything that would happen.

"Well Caesar, all I can say is, I plan to spend every moment next to her, never letting her go until my dying breath."

Caesar smiles as the crowd erupts into awes and cheers of joy. We did it, we convinced them that we were in love, that everything was as we planned it.

"Ladies and Gentleman: The victors of the 74th Hunger Games Cato Martin from District Two, and Katniss Everdeen, The Girl on Fire from District Twelve!"

* * *

Sitting on a beautiful throne on Snow's balcony, I could feel the tension that radiated off our leader, and I knew that we had not convinced the one person we should have. He turned to us after making his speech, Cato and I standing stoically, waiting to be crowned as victors. He strode towards me, his snake like eyes radiating with malice and contempt towards me as he placed the gold crown on my head.

"Congratulations, your family must be very proud of you Miss Everdeen."

I looked him in the eyes, showing that I would back down, that he did not frighten me.

"Thank you, I could only hope that they are."

He takes a moment to stare at the mockingjay pin that Madge had given me after the Reaping, a look of recognition filling his cold features.

"My, Miss Everdeen, what a lovely pin you have."

I nodded curtly, my face emotionless.

"Thank you, it's from my district."

He smiled coldly, moving onto Cato and placing the second crown on his head. After their exchanged pleasantries, President Snow moved towards the podium once more, announcing us as the official victors of the 74th games, and that as a token of the graciousness, would present us with a gift from the Capitol.

"Miss Everdeen and Mr. Martin are hereby granted citizenship to the Capitol and will henceforth reside here before and after the Victory Tour of districts.  
As a symbol of our gratitude, Miss Everdeen and Mr. Martin will also be granted their own private building."

I paled immediately at his words, knowing that I would not be able to see Prim other than the Victory Tour, or attend Peeta's funeral. I would be stuck here for the rest of my life with Cato.

"Citizens of Panem, I give you our star-crossed Victors: Cato Martin and Katniss Everdeen."

* * *

After the ceremony, Cato and I were escorted by Peacekeepers back to the limo, and we were driven to our new home. I stared out the tinted windows, my mind racing with different thoughts, memories, and emotions. How would I do this? How could I do this to Prim; to Peeta? How could I throw it all away for some stupid Capitol people? I felt a hand on my arm and I shied away, giving the person a cold look for thinking they could touch me. Cato stared at me, his hand raised slightly above where he touched me and scoffed.

"I asked you if you wanted the bedroom or not. I'm as happy as you are about this and I refuse to share a bed with you."

I looked at him blankly, comprehending his words as he spoke. The anger began to build inside of me and I found myself shutting off from him.

"Like I would want to share a bed with a brutal monster. Whatever you want Cato, if you want the bedroom take it. I don't really care."

I didn't care; everything I had cared about was ripped away from me, and I had to shut myself off from the world.

The limo slowed down and I braced myself for the cameras. Couldn't they just leave me alone? I didn't care that the tabloids wanted a story; I didn't care that people just wanted to see the Girl on Fire. I just wanted to get away from it all and grieve in peace. The door opened and I climbed out, Cato closely behind me as several Peacekeepers escorted us into the building while several reporters called out our names as their photographers tried to get as many pictures of us as we could.

"The second floor is the living area, the basement a workout center, the third floor sauna, and fourth floor is your rooftop terrace. Enjoy."

The Peacekeeper motioned for me to step onto the elevator, Cato following in behind me and pressing the two button. I sighed a bit, ready to just change out of all of this clothing and just lock myself away. As we reached the second floor, the elevator dinged, the doors opening to reveal the apartment. It was gorgeous; marble flooring, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, mahogany cupboards. Beautiful leather furniture neatly arrange around a stone fireplace, with a matching fur throw rug and several accent pillows adorned the chairs. I took it all in, knowing that this kind of luxury would keep District Twelve running for several years. I swallowed hard, striding to the bedroom to see that mine and Cato's things had been moved there.

"Are you done Fire Girl? I'd like to take a shower at some point."

I turned to see Cato in the doorway, his tie off and the first few buttons of his dress shirt were undone. I grabbed a change of clothes and headed to the living room. There had to be another bathroom in here, and sure enough a small door off the kitchen proved to be a beautiful guest bathroom and I was able to change in peace. Once I finished, I made my way over to the couch and sat down, staring off into the fire place. My beautiful Prim, what was she doing right now? Was she happy that I was alive? Were her and mom starving or had they gotten my winnings? My thoughts were interrupted when Cato strode in, fresh from the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist.

"You can have the bedroom."

I nodded once, picking myself up and shutting the door behind me once I got into the bedroom. I sat down on the bed, the silk sheets a beautiful burgundy with matching comforter adorned with gold accents. _The same color as blood and Peeta's hair. _I shook my head lightly; I shouldn't think of these things right now. I laid back, closing my eyes only for a moment. I hope Peeta didn't hate me for this. Before I knew it, sleep had overtaken me.

* * *

_ I'm running through the woods, my bow in my hands as I follow the pitiful screaming of my name._

_ "Rue! I'm coming Rue!"_

_I reach the clearing to find Marvel holding Rue at knife point, an evil smirk plastered on his face._

_ "Don't you dare touch her!"_

_I load my bow as quickly as I can, only to see them both morph into others. Peeta had Prim with the knife against her throat, her blue eyes swimming with tears and fear._

_ "It's your fault I'm dead Katniss. It's your fault that Glimmer killed me. You are selfish Katniss Everdeen and you don't deserve to live."_

_I begin to panic. I can't kill Peeta, not again. But I can't let him kill Prim either._

_ "Peeta please… Don't hurt her! Kill me instead! You're right! I deserve to die!"_

_Peeta laughs, the crazed look in eyes ever more evident. I lower my bow and arrows, inching closer to them only to see the fear heighten in my little duck's features._

_ But I'm too late; as I get closer Peeta slides the knife against Prim's neck and she falls lifelessly to the ground. My eyes go wide in fear and I rush over to her. My hands are shaking and I can feel the tears streaming down my face as I look over her lifeless body._

"_Prim? PRIM?! Prim you have to wake up! You can't do this Prim! PLEASE!"_

_It's futile; my sister is dead and it's because of me. It's all my fault that she is dead. I grip her body and I begin sobbing. I've lost her, I can't do this anymore. I can't lose the only thing that has kept me going all these years since our father died. Peeta's laugh echoes through the arena, and I cry harder. All my fault… this is all my fault.. Peeta… Rue.. Prim… Glimmer… I should have just let Cato kill me when he hand the chance._

_ I'm yanked up by my braid, looking into Peeta's cold, dead blue eyes as he presses the same knife, drenched in my sister's blood to my neck._

"_You are worthless Katniss Everdeen. I never loved you. I only said it because I felt sorry for you. You're nothing but a Seam rat, district trash. You are not worthy  
the title of Victor. You only won because they felt sorry for you. You let me die because you were selfish."_

_He grips my braid a bit harder and I cry more, my body shaking in fear and grief._

"_Peeta please… I do love you… You saved my life… I'm sorry I let you die… I didn't know… Cato had tricked me… Please Peeta…"_

_But it's useless; he pushes me to the ground, sitting on top of my chest with his legs pinning my arms to the ground. He laughs lightly, a sadistic glint in those once kind, gentle blue eyes._

"_You are incapable of love. If you loved me you would have went to my funeral. You wouldn't have let me died in the first place. And I think it's time that you are  
punished for your wrong doings"_

_Before I can protest I feel the blade on the knife digging into my wrist, slowly and painfully. I let out a scream, fresh tears streaming down my face as he moves to the other arm. Please, please… don't let this happen to me._

_ "I'm sorry, Peeta… I'm so sorry…"_

_He only smiles more as he places the blade against my throat yet again, his eyes widening in adrenaline._

_ "Say goodbye Katniss."_

_He slices across my neck as I scream out his name—_

"DAMMIT FIRE GIRL WAKE UP!"

I wake up thrashing around the bed, the sheets a tangled mess around my legs, my forehead with a sheen of sweat, my cheeks stained with fresh cheeks.

"Peeta… Peeta… PEETA!"

I cry harder as I feel a strong pair of arms around me, whispering comfort into my hair as I cry into the rock hard chest. Peeta; Peeta had killed Prim. Then he had killed me. It was my entire fault… all my fault…

"It's my fault. My fault, my fault, my fault… He's dead because of me!"

My body shakes more and I feel the arms wrap around me a bit tighter.

"It's not your fault Katniss… You didn't kill him… Glimmer did remember? You were in the tree and she missed the target and killed him instead."

I sniffled lightly, looking up to see who was comforting me. It was Cato: the brutal monster from Two, the leader of the Career Alliance, the one who radiated warmth and comfort. What I say next shocks even myself, and his response, throws my mind into a whirlwind.

"Cato… Don't leave me tonight."

"I won't Fire Girl… I'll always be here."


	4. Part Four: Victory Tour

_**A/N: **__**Thank you to everyone for the helpful reviews! They mean a lot too me! Any and all suggestions are welcome. All rights to Suzanne Collins, and may the odds be ever in your favor!**_

_**Part Four: Victory Tour**_

We fight constantly. Living here in the Capitol is about as unbearable as it is working in the mines. It is a constant battle for dominance between the two of us, and it doesn't go unnoticed by our other victors. Since our first night here, I find that he plays with my head. But there's something that keeps nagging at me, something that doesn't make sense to me. I have this dream, where I wake up back in the Capitol hospital, and he comforts me, but then says something that I can't quite catch. It's pointless however to try and figure it out. The only time that we truly spend with each other is at Capitol social events, or the photo shoots we are required to attend as victors.

We only have a week until Victory Tour, and we begin fighting even more. And of course, it's never over anything major. Who gets the bathroom first? Who used the last roll of toilet paper? Why can't you stop screaming at night? Why didn't you die when I had you pinned? I find I'm becoming more of my old self again when we fight, only for me to bottle it up and push him farther away, and he the same. The only time we are nice to each other is in the dead of night. After my first nightmare in the apartment, we shared the same bed. None of it made sense to me; we hated each other, but he was the only one who could calm my fears at night. That is, until Snow showed up.

_ I had just finished up showering, my wet hair braided to the side as I stepped out of the bedroom. He was sitting on the couch; his snake like eyes glistening with hatred and excitement all at once. He was up to something, and I instantly cleared my face of any emotion possible._

_ "Good afternoon Miss Everdeen, I do hope I am not intruding."_

_I stood in place, my eyes full of defiance as I watched him stand and glide around the room, inspecting things as he went._

"_I assure you and Mr. Martin find everything agreeable? This is a beautiful home you both share here."_

_I nod once, watching him closely. Every one of my instincts was screaming to run. When Snow paid personal visits, it was never good._

"_How is your cousin Gale, is it? He sure seems taken with you, even though; you my dear already have the wonderful Mr. Martin."_

_My heart drops; he had seen the letters Gale had written to me. He knew of the special bond that Gale and I shared since our fathers died._

_ "Yes, Cato is quite wonderful President Snow."_

_He chuckled darkly, facing me with a sadistic grin plastered on his features._

"_Let's make a deal… We won't lie to each other and things will be much more pleasant between us."_

_I nodded once, sitting down and keeping my eyes trained on his every move._

"_Miss Everdeen… With you and Mr. Martin both winning, and your lovely stunt with the girl from Eleven… there has been quite the unrest within the districts.  
Now, I would presume those were not your intentions, correct?"_

_I sat up straighter, every words registering in my mind as a trap. He knew I had not intended for all of this to happen, but I would not let him put the blame on me or Cato._

_ "What do you want from me?"_

_He smiled and sat down across from me, his blue eyes glinting in the afternoon light._

"_Unless you want to see your lovely… cousin, again, Miss Everdeen, convince me that you love Mr. Martin. Convince me that you did not intend for all  
of this to happen. I think a rather unfortunate mining accident would cause your family a great deal of pain, would it not?"_

_Gale; he would kill Gale if I didn't qualm the unrest within the districts. I couldn't let that happen; I couldn't lose another person I cared about._

_ "What do I need to do?_

"_Marry him Miss Everdeen. Marry him and show the districts it was out of love. Convince me, and if I don't see any progress at the end of the Victory Tour  
with your engagement, I expect you and Mr. Martin would produce the best of the best for a future tribute."_

* * *

Cato had come home that night to find me on the couch, tucked away in my own little world after the incident with Snow. When I finally told him, nothing in our home was safe. Vases were smashed, knives thrown, curses yelled, and mirrors broken. He physically demonstrated how I was feeling, and I didn't stop him. We had talked to our mentors, and we had all decided on a plan. Once we entered District 12, I would wear an engagement ring that Haymitch and Brutus would pick out for Cato, and then we would announce our engagement at the end of the Tour, at Snow's mansion for the celebration.

We had barely spoken to each other since then, only at night when I would wake up screaming from a nightmare, would we truly talk.

"Katniss… It's okay… It's only a nightmare."

It became repetitive, like a game of sorts. He would hold me only until I fell asleep, for me to wake up and find his side of the bed empty. I was fine with it until the hospital dream started, and then it got me wondering: was he still playing with my head out of the arena? Were the feather light touches of my cheek, or the electricity between our shared, public kisses just another way for him to destroy me? I had tried to play along with all of it, unsure of how I truly felt about him. Was it all just part of the show for me too?

Cato and I awoke to the sound of joyous chatter, things being move around and the shrilly voice of non-other than Effie Trinket herself. I groaned outwardly, covering my eyes with my arm.

"Seriously, it's 5 am… We don't actually leave on Tour for another 8 hours…"

Cato let out a small laugh, shaking his head and sitting up in bed to stretch. That's when I noticed; I noticed the way his hair fell in the mornings, the way he stretched his arms and cracked his neck. I noticed the perfectly sculpted muscles he possessed. I had finally noticed.

"Well let's get going then Fire Girl. We both know out of the two of us you need the most work done to look half way presentable.

I scowled at him, my temper already flaring through at such an early hour.

"Katniss! Cato! Time to get up it's a big, big day!"

I sat up and rolled my eyes, getting out of bed and walking into the living room, only to see it was no longer my living room, but a salon from hell.

"Effie… It's 5 am. I'm pretty sure we don't have to start this early in the day."

She let out a light laugh, her blue eyes sparkling with delight at the thought of her first Victory Tour.

"Don't be silly Katniss. We have to get you and Cato prepped for the photo shoot beforehand with your mentors!"

I sighed as she finished speaking, only to have my prep team lead a surprise attack on me and began plucking and primping me once again. Cato emerged from the bedroom; a cunning smile etched his features. He was clearly enjoying my agony in all of this.

* * *

It seemed like hours before they were finally done with me. Cato had spent more of the morning working out and talking to his family on the phone. Cato's parents had highly disapproved of us, insisting I should have been left for dead as a small infant because I was nothing more than a Seam rat. My blood had boiled at this; Cato must have felt the tension when we had gone there on "official Capitol business" and surprisingly stood up for me. Once they were finished, Cinna came in and an instant smile etched its way through my features.

"Katniss, it's good to see you."

I smiled more, hugging him lightly, knowing that out of every person in the Capitol, he was the only one I could truly trust.

"Here… I have this for you."

He handed me a sketch book and I smiled lightly. Every victor was supposed to have a talent; Cato's was designing weaponry from the Capitol and mine was fashion, even though Cinna was the one doing all the work for it.

"Thank you… I'm sure they are amazing."

He smiles at this, and motions for one of the prep members to bring over a black dress bag.

"I want you to wear this today. I figured you would feel comfortable in it."  
He opened the bag and I gasped in awe at the outfit. It was an exact replica of my dress from the Reaping, only this time it was much newer. I felt the tears sting my eyes. Home; it reminded me of home, of Prim, of Gale.

I nodded once. Taking the dress out and going back to the bedroom to dress myself in it. It went perfectly with my make-up; the neutral tones made me look natural and not overdone, while my hair was left down in its natural waves, cascading down my back. I looked at myself in the mirror and looked at the girl staring back. She was beautiful, but plain, broken but whole. She was me, and I had grown to accept that.

"Come on _sweetheart_, we're going to be late for our photo shoot!"

I sighed and smoothed the dress out, putting on a pair of matching flats as I left the bedroom. Effie smiled in delight as she saw me, and then began gathering our things as she was getting ready to shuffle out to the elevator. I looked to see Cato watching me intently, as if he was trying to figure out the right words to say to me.

"You look beautiful."

I nodded my head once, looking around the room and then followed Cinna out to the elevator after Effie.

* * *

The photo shoot had taken longer than I would have liked it too. We had several shots done with Enobaria and Brutus, then with Haymitch, then one with all the men and all the women, then Brutus, Enobaria, and I and so on. I couldn't have been more relieved than when we had boarded the train to District One, our first stop on Victory Tour. Dinner was quiet that night, so I had excused myself to my room, in hopes of getting some sleep that night. Cato had been quiet that night at dinner, more so than usual, so I had assumed he would be spending the night in a separate room aboard the train. I quickly changed out of my dress and put on my favorite silk green night gown and gray wrap, wrapping it tightly around my midsection as I settled onto the bed. I was starting to drift off when I heard the door open, and shifted myself to see Cato enter in, a small black velvet box in his hand.

"Would you like to see the ring?"

I sat up and nodded, extending my hand out to take the box. He moved closer to the bed and opened it, placing in my hand ever so gently. It was a beautiful, platinum diamond ring. I smiled lightly looking at it; it truly was perfect, and Brutus and Haymitch could not have done a better job of picking it out for me.

"Read the inscription on the band."

His voice pulls me from my thoughts as I gently remove the ring from the box, inspecting the band when I see it: _0407_

I swallow hard as I recognize the date to be Peeta's birthday, and nod in approval. I place the ring back in its box and close the top, handing it back to him and clearing my throat.

"It's beautiful Cato… Thank you."

He nods curtly and places the tiny box back on the dresser before beginning to move his attire as well.

"Are you staying in here tonight?"

He sighs and shakes his head in a disappointment at me as I watch him curiously. I truly would have thought he would rather have his own room now that we aren't stuck to our one bedroom apartment.

"Would you rather sleep alone and wake up the whole train with your nightmares?"

I sighed and laid back down, turning on my side so my back would face the door way. Being with him in this way made things ten times more difficult for me to decipher. He wanted to share the same bed as me, but was only nice to me when others, excluding Haymitch, Cinna, Brutus, and Enobaria, were around. I pulled the blankets up around me and closed my eyes, hoping he would just get the hint and leave me be.

I felt the bed dip under his weight, and when I felt his arm snake around my waist and pull me close to him, a jolt of electricity ran through my body, sending shivers down my spine. I wasn't supposed to feel these things about him. He was just a stupid brutal monster who was incapable of loving people. He was the Capitol's lap dog, and he despised my very existence. He was just playing with my head; then why did I feel all these things?

* * *

_ We stand in front of the Justice Building in District One, Glimmer and Marvel's grieving families just beyond the steps in front of us in the front rows. I had personally killed both of their tributes, and seeing the faces of their families brought the flashbacks of their deaths fresh into my memory. Cato had done all of the speaking, since I didn't trust myself with words at this point. Seeing Glimmer and Marvel's mothers had broken me, and I wasn't sure if I would be able to do this Victory Tour after all._

_ The celebration afterwards wasn't any easier. Cinna had me in a jeweled floor length emerald green dress that reminded me of Glimmer's eyes. Cato had sensed my uneasiness and kept me close to his side the entire night, while introducing me to the past victors of District One. For once I was glad for the façade that Cato and I had to deal with, because I would never have been able to face the grieving families by myself. Cato must have grown tired because he excused us both back to the train, saying we needed to get a good night's sleep before the celebrations at District Three._

_ Districts Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, and Ten passed by in a blur. It was the same routine every time: Walk out to from the Justice Building, give a speech thanking the Districts for the honor of giving up their children, have a light lunch with the mayor before the Victory dinner that evening. Tensions grew higher and higher with each District we visited. District Four's crowd seemed to push the Peacekeepers towards the Justice Building, and then I realized what Snow had meant by unrest. They saw Cato and me as symbols of hope; that if two could make it out alive from the Hunger Games then the Capitol was powerless and weak. We were the strongest of all the Districts. I had become paranoid with each and every district stop, hoping that our plan to convince everyone, even Snow, that we were madly in love and not rebellious. _

_ Once leaving Ten, I found myself becoming antsy, unable to stay in one place for a period of time. Haymitch, Brutus, and Enobaria seemed to give me the space I so desperately needed, but Cato seemed to feed off my anxiety, and lashed out at anyone who crossed his path. Rue; in a matter of hours I would have to face her grieving family. How am I going do this? How am I going to thank them for giving the Capitol their daughter only for them to slaughter her? _

_ "That little girl was from Eleven… Wasn't she?"_

_Cato's voice startles me for a moment; I nod in reply and swallow hard. I wasn't sure I could do this anymore, even with Cato at my side._

"_How am I supposed to thank them for giving their little girl to slaughter? How am I supposed to look them in the eye and lie to them about that? How Cato?!  
How am I supposed to do this?!"_

_I feel the tears escape down my face and my walls begin to crumble. Cato got up from his spot on the love seat and took me in his arms, allowing me to cry in the warmth of his body._

"_It's okay Katniss; they knew you tried to save her. Rue knows how much you loved her like you loved Prim…"_

_His words make me cry harder, knowing that he spoke the truth. I did love Rue like I did Prim, and I had been devastated that I couldn't save her. I sniffle lightly, staying close to him and sucking up all his body heat._

_ "Thank you…"_

_It was the only thing I could say to him before passing out from the stress and anxiety I had been feeling over the course of the last few weeks._

* * *

District Eleven: Mine and Cato's speeches about Thresh and Rue. My last minute added speech about Rue's and my alliance in the arena, and that everything reminded me of her in my life. The old man in the crowd whistling her four note tune as he gave me the three finger salute; the Peacekeepers knocking him to the ground and shooting him on the spot. Cato had picked me up bridal style and whisked me away into the Justice Building before all hell had broken lose. So much for trying to calm the districts down from rebellion.

We were only minutes away from District Twelve, only moments away from seeing Prim, my mother, and Gale again. Only moments away from being back home, even if it was just for a day. My hair had been styled into its signature braid, my make-up done ever so lightly as to not make me unrecognizable. Cinna had me dressed in a simple black frock, with matching simple black flats for the occasion. He knew I was still grieving Peeta, and this was his way of showing respect for that as we entered the District. Cato had been dressed in a beautiful black silk shirt and matching trousers, his hair spiked up and silver cufflinks to make the outfit.

As the train stopped, my stomach began twisting itself in anticipation of seeing my family again. Would they be mad at me for not coming home right away? Would they hate me for letting Peeta die? Cato grabbed my hand, taking me away from my thoughts when I noticed he had the ring in his hand, ready to place it on my left ring finger. I watched him closely, as his cold stare bore through my soul as he placed the ring on my finger. We kept eye contact until Haymitch cleared his throat, and we made our way to the exit of the train. This was it; I was finally going to see my family again. As the doors opened, we were taken aback at the sights and sounds before us. My stoic expression had changed into relief and happiness: I was officially home.

We stood at the train platform holding hands. I smiled at the crowd before us and waved to my District members. That's when I spotted her; golden hair done into two braids, blue town eyes glinting with elation and relief. I let go of Cato's had, taking off in a mad dash through the crowd. I didn't care if the cameras were watching; I was finally able to see my Prim. I reached her, my mother, and the Hawthorne's and threw my arms around her, hugging her and closely as I could to my body.

"Prim… Oh my Prim you're okay!"

I could feel my dress being dampened by her tears but it didn't matter. I had my Prim back, and that's all that mattered.

"Gale gave us game. He took really good care of us Katniss. I was afraid I would lose you…"

I pulled back slightly to wipe her eyes, smiling lightly at her as she spoke.

"I would never leave you Prim, remember that. Now come on, you can stand with Cato and I as we give our speech."

She smiled lightly at that and glued herself to my side. My mother smiled meekly at me and I gave her a small smile in return.

"I am very proud of you Katniss, and I'm sure he would be too."

I nod and clear my throat. I knew who she was talking about, but I don't think he would be proud of me. Would he want a child killer as a daughter? Would he even recognize me?

"Katniss I drew you a picture!"

My thoughts were broken by little Posy Hawthorne; she had grown since the last time I had seen her, and she was still one of the most adorable child I had seen.

I get down on her level and smile, taking the picture from her hand to see it's of me and Gale, our bows slung around our shoulders carrying baskets of berries.

"It's you and Gale and berries! Momma says I'm quite the artist!"

I laugh lightly and nod, kissing her head lightly in a show of appreciation.

"Thank you Posy… I'll have to take it home with me and put it on the fire place so everyone in the Capitol can see what a wonderful artist you are!"

Her smile widens as I finish my sentence only for her to hide in her mother's apron in shyness at my compliment. Hazelle smiles and tells me of the collection Greasy Sae had started in the Hob while Peeta and I were in the Games. I smile lightly at her and give her a quick hug, noticing that I hadn't seen Gale yet.

"He's in the mines. He started there about a week after you were crowned Victor."

Gale's little brother Vick gives me a look of weariness, and I nod in acceptance of his statement. Were they blaming me for him going into the mines?

* * *

Facing Peeta's family had been the hardest thing for me. As Cato went through his speech, I saw Mr. Mellark up front with Peeta's older brothers. I saw the sadness that reflected in the three of them, and found myself holding back tears at the sight. If it wasn't for me, Peeta would be alive. If I hadn't pushed him towards the Careers, he'd be the one standing at my side for this tour. When Cato finished, he looked to me and stepped aside. Walking to the microphone, I looked at the cards in my hand and found that I couldn't speak. How could I lie to the Mellarks?

"Peeta was a wonderful, kind, and gentle soul. He once gave me bread when my family was starving and I lost all hope. He gave me hope; he gave me a new  
beginning in which I tried to take care of my family. He announced to all of Panem only a few short months ago that he loved me, and I found that I reciprocated  
the feelings. I am truly sorry for your loss, and know, that I think of Peeta each and every single day."

I felt a strong hand grip my shoulder, and I turned to face Cato; the tears that I had been holding back had escaped. I missed Peeta, and this had made it all worse.

"Thank you for your son, and may the odds, be ever in your favor."

I didn't stop to wave to the crowd as they cheered and clapped. I went right into the Justice Building, finding the nearest room and locking myself in it. This was all too much, and I wasn't sure if I could handle the rest of the night, even though I was home.

* * *

Cato had found me, curled up into a ball on the dusty furniture in the Justice Building. He didn't taunt me like he usually did when I had a rough time at the speeches; he only stood there and waited for me at the door patiently.

"Katniss… We need to go. The mayor's daughter said she wanted to take us some place."

I nodded, sitting myself up I walked up to the door and unlocked it. I must have looked like a mess; his facial expression was one of mock and something else I couldn't quite place. I strode passed him to see Madge, smiling sadly.

"It's good to see you Katniss… I was elated to hear that you made it out alright."

I smiled lightly and followed her out, Cato striding closely behind me.

District Twelve had never been much of a sight, so when Cato scoffed as we passed the town square and passed the Seam; I felt a small bout of anger rise up in me. It may not have been much but it was still home. Madge led us through a small clearing, and I stopped dead in my tracks; it was a graveyard, a proper one, for all who had passed away in District Twelve. I swallowed hard; fresh tears threatened to escape again when she spoke softly.

"I… I had known for a long time that Peeta had feelings for you. So on Reaping Day, after you volunteered for Prim and his name was called, I knew the odds had  
not been in his favor. He wanted to tell you so badly Katniss, before anything happened. And if I know Peeta, you were the last thought on his mind as he died."

I nodded grimly, sniffling lightly as she spoke. Peeta would have gladly died for me, and he did, so I could come home to Prim. I walked over to the freshly dug grave, a wooden cross with his epitaph beautifully carved into the pine:

_PEETA MELLARK_

_APRIL 7__TH_

_HUNGER GAMES TRIBUTE_

_LOVED BY ALL_

_THE BOY WITH BREAD_

I sank to the ground as I read the cross, the tears escaping once again as I ran my fingers over the dry soil. Why, why did Peeta have to die? Why did he have to be chosen as tribute? Why didn't anyone volunteer for him? Why did I have to sit here at his grave knowing it was my fault he was dead? The boy with the bread… That's who Peeta was. He was gentle, sweet, caring, funny, and kind. He truly was better than me, in life and in death.

My body racked with sobs as I laid across his grave, truly getting to grieve for him, the one who gave me hope and life.

"Peeta… Peeta please… Come back to me Peeta… I can't do this anymore!"

I cried harder knowing that he was never coming back; my father, Rue, Peeta... They would never get to take another breath. I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me, pulling me from the grave.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE HIM! PEETA!"

Once I realized who the arms belonged too, I began fighting back. It was all Cato's fault that Peeta was dead. He had used me, tricked me into thinking that Peeta and I could have never worked, even as a ploy for sponsors. But now that I know the truth, that Peeta truly did love me and I thought I loved him too, I wanted nothing more than to kill Cato right here and now.

"ITS YOUR FAULT CATO! YOU USED ME! YOU TRICKED ME INTO THINKING I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO LOVE HIM! IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU PEETA WOULD  
STILL BE HERE!"

I sobbed harder as I heard a voice come into hearing distance. It sounded worried and upset as a soft voice explained to the owner what was going on. I heard my name repeated over and over, but I couldn't respond to it. Peeta… All I wanted was my hope back. Without him here, I was nothing.

"Come on Catnip… Let's get you home."

_Catnip;_ it was Gale's voice, Gale's arms carrying me, and Gale's scent that I was inhaling. I turned my face into his chest and cried harder. Half way through our trip back, I had passed out, dead to the world around me.

He must have brought me to Haymitch, because when I woke up, I could smell the strong scent of booze and vomit. Wrinkling my nose, I sat up to see Haymitch snoozing by my bedside. Years of tributes dying had taken its toll on him, and I now understood why he drank so much. I sat on the edge of the bed, trying to gather my bearings when I heard him speak:

"You went to the cemetery sweetheart?"

I nodded meekly, still unable to find my voice at this point. I heard him sigh and shift in the chair, as if finding the right words to say to me.

"It was Brute boy's idea to put Peeta's birthday on the ring. As shocking as it may seem, but I think he holds some feelings for you. From what Brutus tells me, him  
and his little psycho knife thrower were quite close through the years. You aren't the only one hurting sweetheart, and remember, we need to pull this off. Maybe being  
a little more affectionate towards him will do you both some good."

I scoff at this; Cato didn't care about me, he only cared about himself and being a Victor.

"He's the reason Peeta is dead Haymitch…"

I look back at him to see the confusion etched into his features so I continue on.

"We met a couple of times on the roof top, once after the training scores and another after the interviews. When Peeta had said he loved me, Cato told me that  
Peeta didn't deserve me, and that I deserved someone who could keep up with me without looking like a love sick puppy. I believed him, and he helped me devise a  
plan to get out of the blood bath. He knew that Peeta would want to try and protect me, so he allowed him in the Careers. He knew what Peeta was up too, and so  
when I took the bow, he purposely had Clove teach Glimmer how to throw knives."

I choke at the end, knowing it was also my fault Peeta was dead. Why was I alive? I didn't deserve life after what I had done.

Haymitch nods once and stands up, carrying the half empty liquor bottle with him to the door.

"Get ready sweetheart; the banquet starts in an hour and your mother and Prim want to see you beforehand."

I nod, waiting until he closes the door behind him before I change myself into the outfit that Cinna wanted me to wear in Twelve. Opening the dress bag, I gasp when I see the beautiful creation before me. It was the same color as Peeta's eyes, with gold floral accents the same color as Peeta's hair embroidered into the soft fabric. I felt the tears again, plucking out the note attached to the bag and smiling softly as I read the familiar writing of my stylist:

"_For Peeta. He would have loved to see you in this."_

I smile lightly, changing myself into the dress and putting on a pair of gold gladiator sandals. Maybe I could do this after all.

* * *

The banquet had been better than I thought it would be. All of District Twelve showed up wearing their Reaping best; young and old joined along in the celebration of mine and Cato's victory, but more so mine than his. I smiled the entire night, elated to see the joy and happiness radiating off my people's faces. Tonight, no one would go to bed hungry. Prim and I danced the night away as the fiddler played our native tunes. Even Greasy Sae, who was normally straight laced without any frivolity danced with Gale.

I wore my engagement ring the entire night, seeing the look on people's faces as it gleamed in the lighting. For once, I was proud of my ring; it was my last gift from Peeta: the ability to move on, and know that he was always with me. I smiled as Prim and Posy danced along the edge of the floor. There was this emotion building up inside of me as I watched them, but I didn't know what to make of it, as I had never felt it before. I heard someone clear their voice and I turned to see Cato standing beside me in a stoic expression. I smiled lightly at him, placing my hand on his arm as a sort of affectionate way.

"Thank you Cato…"

He looks down at me, his blue eyes searching my own grey ones as he tries to figure out why I would be thanking him.

I stood up and placed a hand on his cheek, feeling his smooth, cool skin beneath my touch. He wasn't Peeta, but he had been there for me, whether it was for show or to mock me for it, didn't matter. He was here, and he allowed me to have my love for Peeta, even though I was supposed to love him. So when I brought my lips to his own for a kiss, I was surprised to feel him kiss back. I pulled away and smiled shyly, unsure of how he would react to what I had just done. All he did is watch me carefully, as if unsure of what to say to me after that.

"That dress looks beautiful on you. It really brings out your eyes."

I blush at his comment, stepping away from him slightly, returning my gaze to the little brunette and little blonde dancing away.

Hope; the feeling I get when watching my sister and Posy dance and play together is hope. Hope that one day they will be free of the Hunger Games. Hope that one day neither one will have to experience pain, hunger or fear. They give me newfound hope, and that is much more than I could ever ask for. So when Cato sits down and pulls me onto his lap, his hand caressing my sides, I realize that as long as we have hope, we have a future.

* * *

The ride to District Two was by far the hardest of all the Victory Tour. Cato had completely shut himself up, and I found myself singing again, which seemed to drive him to insanity. So I spent most of my time with Haymitch and Effie, watching the recaps of the Victory Tour or going over the details of mine and Cato's engagement. That's how the subject came up; that's how I knew how serious things were getting.

"Cinna has already designed your wedding dress Katniss. I'm sure both you and Cato will love it!"

I quirked a brow up at her, and she showed me the sketches of me in a beautiful white gown, with silvery glittering wing like structures on the dress. A mockingjay; mockingjays weren't supposed to be created; they weren't supposed to survive, but they did. I looked to Haymitch and he gave me a small look as if to say to not let Effie know too much, so I kept my mouth closed.

"Your mockingjay pin is in all the rage in the Capitol! And Cinna did such a beautiful job with this dress; I bet you will look gorgeous in it!"

I smiled weakly at Effie, nodding lightly and patting her hand in sincerity.

"I bet I will Effie, but if it's not you arranging my wedding, making sure I can be that gorgeous bride, I'll have to die in despair."

She blushed and I smiled more, knowing I had made her feel better with everything going on around us.

* * *

District Two was absolutely freezing out. It's mountain scenery brought a chill to my bones that no amount of fur or fire would keep me warm. Since pulling into the train station, Cato's cold exterior seemed to ice over even further. I knew this would be hard for him considering he and Clove had been close, and this was his home. Haymitch and Brutus had instructed us to keep close to one another, holding hands as much as possible, to show our unity in all of this.

Walking out onto the platform, the crowd cheered loudly as Cato and I raised our intertwined hands in togetherness, waving out to the crowd with our free hand. They were chanting our names, pushing against the Peacekeepers to try to get as close as they could to us. I tried to smile, trying to show that I was happy to be their Victor, even though I knew that they would have preferred to have Cato as a single Victor in all of this. I looked to the front of the mass of people to see two people, both with dark hair and dark eyes, looking at Cato and I with despair. They must be Clove's parents; my smile faltered slightly as Cato began his speech. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he had seen them too, and that he was missing Clove as much as I was missing Peeta.

At the end of our speeches, we were ushered back into the Justice Building where we were met by Cato's parents. His father was tall and muscular; his dull grey eyes held nothing but malice and contempt for me. Cato's mother however, her blue eyes shown with curiosity with a glint of disgust. I knew I wasn't their favorite person in the world, but I was still their Victor, and I was still their son's fiancé.

"We're honored to have you both back here in District Two."

Cato nodded curtly at his father and I returned the statement with a small smile. I now see where Cato got his personality from. His father was cold and domineering, looking down upon others as if they were dirt. However, Cato got his looks from his mother; her platinum blonde hair glistened in the light, her alabaster skin free of mar or wrinkle. And her blue eyes, the same color as ice, the same as Cato's. She smiled lightly at me and gestured me to follow her to the sitting room. I looked to Cato and he nodded for me to follow her. I made haste and entered the small room with her, closing the door with a soft click.

She gestured for me to sit on the plush looking love seat, and I indulged her request, keeping my posture perfect like Effie had taught me to do.

"I'm afraid we haven't been properly introduced; My name is Athena, and I'm sure you remember my husband Julius."

I smiled politely at her and nodded once, but she quickly cleared her throat, her ice blue eyes glistening at me with hatred.

"You know Miss Everdeen; I'm sure you are a wonderful young lady but you don't realize the shame you bring upon this family."

I am taken aback with her brutal honesty, but it's better than having to fake politeness with each other.

"What do you mean, Mrs. Martin?"

She stands now, striding over to marble fireplace, wringing her hands lightly at trying to find the right words to say.

"Here in District Two, winning the Hunger Games is a large honor, and brings pride to all of the District and the family of the Victor. However, this honor and pride  
is meant for one person and one person only. When you and my son left the arena as Victors, part of that honor and pride was stripped from him. Your co-victory  
has brought a shame upon this family that someone like you would not understand."

I found my emotions harden as she finished her piece, and I looked at her with cold eyes, similar to the ones her and her family bore.

"I never asked for this, Mrs. Martin. Quite honestly, had this been done my way, I would have killed your son, or his way, and I would have let him kill me. I never  
wanted to be a co-Victor with Cato."

She scoffed at this, striding closer to me until she was towering over me. Her eyes had softened some, but not much.

"Please Miss Everdeen, my husband and I see it plain as day when we've seen you two on the television. You and my son are ideal for being Victors. He is strong,  
good looking, talented, and smart. He has the training that most people would _die _for at this very moment. And you, my dear, possess the fire and conviction that  
is required of a winner. You are a survivor; You have everything that many here in this district strive for, but yet, you were graced naturally with it."

She sighed for a moment, before looking at her own wedding ring, and then to my engagement ring.

"That day that my husband called you a Seam Rat, and Cato defended you, was the first time I had seen him care about anyone since before his training at the  
Academy. And I warn you Miss Everdeen, do not ruin all the hard work and effort my son has put into becoming the person he is today. Please Miss Everdeen, I know  
you are still in love with your now deceased District partner, and I know that Cato held a soft spot for young Clove. All I ask is that once the new Victor comes in from  
the Quarter Quell that you leave my son. Let him come home, let him be the person he was meant to be: The true Victor."


	5. Part Five: The Capitol

_**I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**_

_**Part Five: The Capitol**_

Our arrival back to the Capitol was harder than I thought it would be. As we came through the tunnel, all the memories of going into the Hunger Games were fresh in my mind; Peeta waving out to the Capitol citizens that met us at the train station, the way Haymitch told me that Peeta knew what he was doing, Effie's excitement at returning home. When the doors opened, I put on a brave face and exited the train, a crowd of Peacekeepers surrounding Cato and I as we were escorted to our limo to bring us back to the apartment. Tonight was the night I found out if we did it or not; tonight is the night that Cato and I announce our fake engagement to the entire world; tonight is the night. Cinna and my prep team would be there tonight to make sure I looked absolutely perfect while Haymitch and Brutus would coach Cato on how to announce our engagement. I sighed inwardly; knowing tonight would be the longest night of my life.

The dress Cinna had for me was absolutely perfect; a black, form fitting floor length grown clung to my curves, with metallic swirled patterns engraved into the dress. The prep team had left my hair partially down as half of it was pinned up while a few curls framed my features. The look was breath taking as I looked in the mirror before me. This woman had sparkling grey eyes and a creamy complexion, rosy cheeks and pale, pink full lips to match. This wasn't me, it couldn't be. I never wore make up, I only wore my hair in a braid, and I _never_ wore heels.

I heard someone clear their throat behind me and I turned to see Cato watching me, his features as emotionless as always. I looked him over to see that his attire matched my own. His suit was made of a molten grey colored fabric, his shirt the same metallic gold as some of the designs on my dress. He looked positively handsome; even I couldn't deny that fact.

"Are you ready Fire Girl?"

His tone was bored, and I could tell he was ready to get this over with as much as I was. I nodded my head, grabbing the small clutch that Cinna had left for me to use when I noticed it; embroidered in the sheer fabric was a replica of my mockingjay pin. I smiled lightly at it knowing he was always thinking of me that one.

* * *

The celebration at Snow's mansion was beyond my wildest dreams; hundreds of soups, creams, desserts, breads, fish, meat, and dishes were scattered throughout the elegant ball room. Fountains of champagne and other liquors adorned each corner of the room, while above us musicians played beautiful melodies to set the mood. Cato and I had been busy meeting and thanking our sponsors, much to my dismay. Haymitch had busied himself talking with several prominent Capitolites, while Brutus was talking with potential sponsors for the upcoming Quarter Quell. Effie, however, was in all her glory. She was socializing with the most prominent in the Capitol, reaping the benefits of my victory in the Hunger Games. I couldn't help but to smile at her; she seemed truly happy, as if all of her dreams had come true in that one night.

I must have been staring off for too long; Cato nudged me slightly with his elbow and I turned my gaze to him, giving him a soft smile.

"Are you thirsty dear?"

I nodded once, taking his arm in my own, giving our sponsors a polite exit and strode over to the one of the champagne fountains with Cato. I sighed in relief when we reached the fountain; no one was here to over here us. I glanced down to the ring on my finger and studied it carefully. Each time I wore it, it seemed to sparkle more, entice me more into wearing it as much as I could.

"Is everything ready for our announcement?"

I looked to him to see he was readying a glass of champagne for me, and nodded as he handed it over.

"Yes. Haymitch and Brutus had all the tabloids in a craze over why I was seen at a jewelry parlor. Then the paparazzi caught the pictures of you wearing it in Twelve and Two. Snow is going to make a speech, then introduce us to make our own. We talk about how thankful we are to Capitol and Snow for the celebration, then what an honor it is to be Victors. Then we surprise them with the engagement."

I nodded and took a small sip of my champagne. I tickled as it slid down my throat, and I couldn't help but wonder if this is why Haymitch drank; the feeling it gave was numbing, and I loved the feel of it.

"I know what my mother said to you back in Two."

I froze for a moment, unsure of what to say to him. I hadn't wanted to tell him and upset him further. Whatever had been said between he and his father had him to the point of destroying one of the lounges on the train. I cleared my throat and looked at him, searching his eyes for any sort of answer or emotion.

"Do you agree with her?"

I realized after I said it, that I regretted it. Did I really want to hear the answer to that question? I looked into his eyes, noticing the intensity in which they looked in my own.

"Yes. I think it is best that when this is over with we move on with our lives. We both know you are still in love with Lover Boy, and I should return home as a Victor."

I nodded in response, swallowing lightly and taking another sip of my champagne. His answer struck a chord within me, but I wouldn't let it show. Had I really grown to care for the Brutal Boy from Two? The same boy who sought to kill me in the end?

"After the Quarter Quell, we'll announce our separation. Tell them our differences were too much to handle. You'll go back to Two and I'll go back to Twelve and we'll lead our separate lives."

He took a large drink from his champagne glass and nodded in agreement. Had it really been that easy? Was it going to be easier said than done? I was lost in my thoughts as the national anthem began to play, and President Snow emerged from the balcony at the far end of the ball room. He smiled and waved to everyone, his snake eyes seemed to glow in the lighting. I shuddered lightly; this was the moment of truth. Did we do the deed or had we failed?

"Welcome citizens of the Capitol. It is my great pleasure to announce our Victors for the 74TH Hunger Games: Mr. Cato Martin and Miss Katniss Everdeen. May they grow prosperous here and always; May they find all their endeavors succeed, and happiness find them. May the odds, be ever in their favor."

His smile at us made my insides twist; he was up to something sinister, and we were about to feel the full brunt of it.

"Without further ado, our star-crossed Victors of the 74th Annual Hunger Games, Mr. Cato Martin and Miss Katniss Everdeen."

The crowd erupted in cheers as Cato and I made our way towards the balcony, smiling and waving towards the cameras.

As we reached the balcony, Snow held his hand out to Cato and shook it firmly. I outstretched my own for him to shake, when he took my hand, giving the back of it a cool kiss. I searched his features for any sign of an answer: had we quieted the Districts in all of this? With a light shake of his head, I knew that we had failed. We failed, and we were about to be punished for it.

"Katniss and I would like to thank everyone for their sponsorship, their gratitude and kindness during our stay here in the Capitol. We are both honored and elated to be your Victors. We are proud of be citizens of the Capitol and of Panem; we are honored to be standing before you here today. And as we stand here before you, we have a special announcement we would like to make."

Cato grabbed my hand, giving it a light squeeze with a reassuring smile. I smiled lightly, watching him as he spoke the words I hoped would be our redeeming grace:

"Katniss and I would like to announce our engagement to the whole of Panem."

* * *

The rest of the night was spent receiving congratulations and well wishes. I had done my best to act like someone in love, but now that I knew it was all over with, we had failed, I found it was harder to do so. I was taken from my thoughts when a large man approached me, slightly balding and boisterous pulled me aside. He looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place him.

"Hello Miss Everdeen, I am Plutarch Heavensbee, the new Head Gamemaker."

I smiled in politeness, my hand extending to shake his own. Now I knew where I had seen him. He was at my scoring; he was the one who fell over into the punch bowl when I shot the apple.

"Pleasure to meet you Mr. Heavensbee. I hope you enjoyed yourself this evening."

He laughed lightly, a checking his beautiful gold pocket watch for the time.

"I figured I would finally get to meet the Girl on Fire officially before heading off to our meeting. Though, you aren't supposed to know that; Top secret business you know!"

He laughed again and I let a small laugh. He was quite the fellow from what I could tell. When he closed his pocket watch, I saw my mockingjay pin engraved into the gold, light up like fire and disappear once again. He smiled at me, placing a finger over his mouth as if to say to keep quiet about it.

"I am the only one in the Capitol with this watch; I'd like to keep it that way."

I laughed lightly this time, turning back to see Cato watching us intently. I smiled at him and bid Mr. Heavensbee a good night, and strode back towards Cato, placing a hand on his large bicep.

"Are you ready darling? I'm sure you are just as exhausted as I am."

He smiled at me, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. I knew then that maybe he was right; maybe it was better if we went our separate ways after the Quarter Quell.

"As you wish my love."

We bid everyone good night, letting Haymitch and Effie know we were heading back to our apartment and entered our limo. I quickly took off my heals, sighing in relief as my feet were no longer being pinched. We were silent the whole way back home; both of us lost in our own thoughts as the limo stopped and we were escorted back inside. How was I going to tell him that all of this had blown up in our faces? That Snow had been unconvinced of our "love" for each other and the Districts were still uprising? I walked right into the bedroom, taking off the dress and hanging it up neatly before grabbing my favorite nightgown and heading into the bathroom to shower.

This was my entire fault; if I would have just died on the Cornucopia, none of this would have happened. I hit the green button on the shower and stepped in, rinsing away the products in my hair and washing the make-up off that my prep team had worked so hard on. Once I was finished, I stepped out of the shower and pressed the button on the wall, the gust of hot air that dried my hair and body in a matter of seconds. I dressed, all the while thinking how I was going to break the news to Cato, Haymitch and Brutus. Would I be able too? Or would I let them find out for themselves?

I sighed, my mind muddled with thoughts as I left the bathroom to see Cato sitting at the end of our bed, his head in his hands. I stopped and watched him; he was still well muscled, with that feral icy look in his blue eyes. But something had changed about him, and I still hadn't quite put my finger on it. His voice startled me, bringing me back to all reality.

"I noticed his head shake; the Districts are still in riot mode. Katniss,"

His voice was soft, but the look on his features was fierce and unforgiving.

"We have to get married. We have to put an end to all of this unless our loved ones are going to feel the brunt of it."

I walked over to him, setting myself lightly beside him as he spoke, staring at the beautiful mahogany flooring. He spoke the truth, but for some reason I couldn't face it. What would Peeta have to say in all of this?

"I thought we were going to split up after the Quell, like your mother suggested?"

He scoffed and looked at me, his ice blue eyes registering a type of emotion I had never seen on his features before: hurt.

"You really don't get it, do you Fire Girl?"

The confusion that settled in on my face must have angered him even more, because he stood up and strode over to the window, looking out at the Capitol before us.

"I had Brutus and Haymitch have the ring engraved with Lover Boy's birthday because I wanted you to know that I still cared, that I cared that you loved him and wanted to make it easier for you in all of this. My ring for the wedding has Clove's birthday, and yours has your father's."

He turned around and looked at me, and I noticed then that he was hurting just as much as I was in all of this. That I had been selfish enough to think that he hadn't anyone he cared about either besides his parents.

"I thought that doing that, it would make things easier between us. But I guess I was wrong. You can have the bed tonight; I'm going to work out."

He turned and walked out the door, leaving me a confused mess sitting on our bed.

* * *

_**A/N:**__** Thank you everyone once again for the positive reviews. I know this chapter is a bit short, but there are many more parts to come to think about. Cato is starting to realize that he has feelings for our little Mockingjay, and she is beginning to realize that she may need Cato more than she thought she did. And well, Haymitch and Brutus are already working with the rebels on what's going to happen. Next part will be all about the Quarter Quell, and the escape to District Thirteen will be in there as well. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated =]**_


	6. Part Six: The Quarter Quell

_**I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**_

_**Part Six: The Quarter Quell**_

Since we had returned to the Capitol, Cato and I had not spoken as much but a sentence to each other. With the Quarter Quell approaching, I knew things between us would change; he would go back to District Two to a Victor's homecoming, and I would go back home to Prim. Haymitch and Brutus had highly advised against us separating, but they knew that since we had failed to convince Snow, it really wouldn't change anything. No matter how in love we looked, the Districts would still riot. Cato spent most of his time working out, while I spent most of my time with Cinna in the Capitol, helping him out with his ever growing fashion line. Occasionally, Cato and I would be asked to attend a special Capitol function, and we would act like the two lovers they had seen only a few months previously.

But something ate away at me every time we kissed; my stomach would twist into knots, my pulse would quicken and I would find myself short of breath. Effie had told me that what love was like; love, the word was somewhat foreign to me. Of course I loved Prim, but she was my sister. I loved Peeta, but as time went on, I wasn't sure anymore if I truly loved Peeta as much as I thought I did. Of course he had saved my life, and was able to help me get more sponsors. But was it gratitude or love that I felt for the boy with the bread? I shook my head at the thought; in the past few months, ever since Cato said I still didn't get it, I found myself more and more confused around him. We stopped sharing a bedroom, and he hired a Capitol contractor to build another bedroom into the apartment. Of course, the Capitol tabloids were in a frenzy, wondering if Cato and I were planning to start a family already.

A family with Cato; the more and more I thought about that too, the more confused I began. Would I really mind starting a family with Cato? Could I see myself with a little boy, strong willed, blonde hair and ice blue eyes calling me mother? Or a little girl, with her mother's strong will and her father's brutality? Had these thoughts ever entered Cato's mind at night? I would never get my answer though; at least I didn't think I would.

The night of the Quarter Quell announcement, we had decided to invite Cinna, Effie, and Portia over. Sure, that sounds sick to have a get together since it's about the Hunger Games, but I needed to have the people closest to me in the Capitol there. My first year as a mentor would be the Third Quarter Quell, and undoubtedly the bloodiest of them all. So when President Snow was introduced on national television, I found myself clinging onto the hope that my family and Cato's would be safe through the entire ordeal.

"Good evening. I now announce to you, the citizens of Panem, this year's Third Quarter Quell. As you may know, the Quarter Quells are the marking of every twenty-five years since the rebellion."

He motions to a young boy no older than twelve, who is carrying an ornate looking box. As Snow opens it, he brings forth an envelope and the boy moves back out of the spotlight, while Snow's stoic expression brings me to complete shock:

"For the 75th Annual Hunger Games: The tributes for this pageant shall be reaped from the existing pool of Victors."

My heart stopped; this was our punishment for both of us surviving the previous games. This was our punishment for failing to convince him that Cato and I were in love. I was going back into the arena.

* * *

_I'm running from mutations. They're snarling, biting, and clawing at my legs as I try to get away from them. I can see the Cornucopia and run faster. If I can get there I can get to safety. That's when I see him, standing atop the beautiful structure, sword in hand without a scratch on him. I reach the Cornucopia, and try to climb up it but I can't seem to find my footing._

"_Cato! Cato, help!"_

_I cry up to him as the mutts gain more ground. I am panicking; why isn't he helping me?_

_ "Cato please!"_

_He laughs; it comes out cruel and uninviting. My eyes go wide in fear. He has no intentions of helping me this time._

_ "Why would I help you? You're nothing but District scum. I hope you rot in hell Fire Girl."_

_The mutts are behind me, their razor sharp claws knocking me to the ground. I feel them begin to gnaw at my body._

_ "CATO! CATO PLEASE! YOU SAID ALWAYS!"_

_He just laughs as he watches the mutts tear me to shreds. I'm crying; Good bye Prim, I'll always love you. Haymitch, I'm sorry I failed you this time. Peeta, I'll be there soon. _

_ One of the mutts looks me directly in the eyes, and I recognize the warm brown and ashen fur color. Rue; I cry harder, knowing this is the end. I'm losing too much blood. I go to touch her one last time, when she lunges straight for my throat._

_ "CATO!"_

I wake up thrashing around the bed and screaming, tears streaming down my face as I call his name out. I sob into my hands; I had to go back into the arena. It was my entire fault. If I died, Prim and my mother would lose all my winnings, they would be kicked out of my home in Victor's Village. I heard the door open to see Cato standing there, wearing nothing but pajama bottoms. I watch him as he comes in, a cold look etched into his face.

"Why were you screaming this time Fire Girl?"

His tone was cold, and I felt my tears dry up to be replaced by a feeling of anger.

"What does it matter to you, Two?"  
He shakes his head and tousles his already messy hair a bit. Why did his words hurt me like that?

"Well, you were screaming my name. I figured you truly needed something for you to call out for me."

I just nodded and stood up, walking over to bathroom when he spoke:

"You were having another nightmare, weren't you?"

I stopped cold in my tracks; if he knew then why did he bother to come in here and be an ass to me about it?

"Yes, I did. You can go back to bed now if you want. I'm probably going to stay up. We have to leave in a few hours to go back home for the Reaping's."

He nodded once and left the bedroom. I sighed; if we had to go back into the arena together, I didn't know what I would do. I knew Haymitch would have too; he and I were the only living Victors from District Twelve. The only good thing that had come of this was that Brutus had offered, if he was not reaped or volunteered for, to be mine and Haymitch's mentor, to at least get us some sponsors since we would have no one else besides Effie. He had also guaranteed us a spot in the Career Alliance, something that I had been against but Haymitch said it could end up being useful to us in the end.

I undressed and pressed my favorite green button, stepping into the warmth and comfort of the shower. In a few hours, I would get to go home and see Prim. In a few hours, I would be reaped on national television. In a few hours, I would no longer be a Victor, but once again, a tribute in the Hunger Games.

* * *

Haymitch and Brutus met us at the Capitol train station where we were escorted by Peacekeepers. They had decided to meet up with us there and escort us home for the Reaping's. I didn't care, but it seemed pointless; by tomorrow afternoon, we would be back at the Training Center, preparing to fight to the death for a second time in our lives. As we boarded the train, we found Effie sitting at a beautiful mahogany table, her eyes puffy as if she had just been crying. The night of the Quarter Quell announcement, she had been a complete and utter train wreck and Cato had to take her home that night. I smiled lightly to her, only to notice she was holding something in her hands.

"Cato, this is for you and Katniss. President Snow gave it to me himself, and wanted to make sure you both would see this."

She handed me the letter and I opened it slowly, seeing the intricate writing within the parchment:

_Dear Mr. Martin & Miss Everdeen:_

_In light of the Quarter Quell, some issues have been brought up by the Gamemakers. Since you are both co-victors of the 74__th__ Hunger Games, but are from different Districts, they were not sure which pool you belonged to. I have hereby decreed that Mr. Cato Martin shall be put within the pool of Victors from District Twelve and can be reaped as tribute for that District._

_ May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor,_

_President Coriolanus Snow_

I passed the letter over to Cato and took over to the bar car. Normally, I would have stayed out of there, but I knew it would be the one place that I could actually be alone in. Haymitch kept a stash of liquor throughout the train, so normally he didn't need to visit the bar car too often.

Cato could be reaped as a District Twelve tribute; was Snow purposely doing this to chip away at me? Of course he was; Cato and I had made him look like fools because we both won the Games. We had also incited a rebellion, even though we had not planned to do that. I heard the doors opened and smelled liquor instantly. I turned to see Haymitch striding over too me, a bottle of liquor in hand.

"Well Sweetheart, looks like we're going to be neighbors after all."

I looked at him to see my own grey eyes mirroring back at me. I was going to be the main target in these Games, and so was Cato, but I more so. I was the Girl on Fire, the one who had volunteered for her little sister at the Reaping, the girl who was in love with the boy with the bread.

"Who did you chose to keep alive last time, me or Peeta?"

He stopped drinking for a moment, a pause filling the air. I had already known the answer, but I wanted to hear it spoken for the first time in a year.

"You know I chose you Sweetheart. He told me to let him die and let you live. I preferred him though; he at least knew what he was doing."

I nodded, looking at the bar once again, seeing all the different liquors in all the different colors.

"This time, I want Cato to be the one you and Brutus and Effie chose."

Haymitch scoffed and took a drink out of his bottle, making the place reek once again.

"And what makes you so sure that he's going into the Games, hmm?"

I shrugged, why else would Snow have it arranged so he could be reaped in Twelve? "I don't know. But, he's a Career at heart, and has a better chance of winning the Games a second time around than I do. If you don't do it for me, do it for Peeta."

* * *

After my talk with Haymitch I ended up spending the rest of the trip in the bar car. Effie had come in a few times to make sure I wasn't drinking, but I didn't feel the need too. I was going back into the arena for the second time within a year. I had told Haymitch to save Cato, why, I don't know myself. I feel as if Cato is truly the innocent one in all of this; I had gave up fighting back, it was my mockingjay pin that was plastered all over the Capitol and for the rebels. I was the Girl on Fire, who's flame lit up the Districts' fury.

Effie was the first one off the train once we pulled into District Twelve's station. Cinna had dressed her into a beautiful gold outfit with a matching wig, my mockingjay pin made into a bracelet setting the whole outfit. She looked tired, and less peppy than at other reapings. We all knew that my chance of surviving this blood bath was minimal, and her precious pearl was about to become dust. Cinna and Haymitch tried to get me to talk, but nothing would come out. I was stuck in a shell inside myself, unable to respond but still able to register what they were saying.

I looked out the window to see the people lining the town square, ready to watch myself and Cato be reaped as tributes for the Quarter Quell. I could see my mother and my sister walking with the Hawthorne's. The sorrowful looks etched into their faces made my heart ache, knowing this could be the last time I saw any of them.

"Ready Fire Girl?"

I turned to see Cato dressed in a simple outfit; a cotton shirt with simple pants and boots. I was so odd seeing him like this, but Cinna probably dressed him that way so he could mix in with the crowds. I stood up and followed him out, Haymitch and Cinna close behind us. This was the end, and I was ready to face it.

I was the only female near the stage as Effie took her place by the microphone; I could see the fresh tears in her eyes as she looked at the two clear glass bowls beside her. The one on the right had two slips in it, while the one on her left had one that bore my name on it. She finished her speech, her voice cracking every so often. I was emotionless; I had to be brave, and strong for my family and to make sure Cato made it out alive, even if it meant my own death.

"K-K-Katniss… Ev-Everdeen…"

Upon hearing my name I strode up to the stage, not bothering to look at anyone in particular on the way up. I noticed as I stood beside Effie that both of us had fresh tears in our eyes forcing their escape into the world. I looked away from her and tried to find Prim in the crowd, only to see her standing emotionless as I had been only moments ago.

"Hay—Haymitch Abernathy..."

"I, Cato Martin, volunteer as tribute."

The crowd began murmuring the minute Cato had spoken up. I looked over as he spoke, and I knew that they had known about it a lot longer than I had. They had it planned that he would go into the arena with me at all costs.

He took his place on the stage on the other side of Effie, as she announced us as the tributes for the 75th Annual Hunger Games. That's when I realized this was the last time I would ever see my loved ones again. I raised three fingers to my mouth and then the audience. I would miss my home and my family, but I knew one day I would see them all again, in life and or death. Suddenly, we were whisked away by Peacekeepers, taking us through the Justice Building and out the back, heading directly for the train station. There was no good byes or well wishes; just hope that your family knew you loved them.

* * *

Brutus and Enobaria had volunteered as tributes for District Two. I had honestly been disheartened when I heard that, knowing that I would have to kill Brutus or Enobaria or they would have to kill me. Haymitch assured me that since they were in the Careers, along the with bronze god from District Four Finnick Odair, that I would be welcomed into the Career Alliance for as long as I wished to be in it. All I could do was nod, watching each recap and having my heart break over and over again. I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable, but no matter how prepared you think you are, there is nothing like being at death's door step.

I had gotten sick of it after an hour, getting up and heading back to the bar car where I curled up in the plush lounge, hugging my knees tightly to my chest and watching the scenery go by. I heard the sound of footsteps coming and whirled my head to the door. Cato walked in, his blonde locks messy and his face unforgiving. He seemed utterly angered about something and it seems that I was the intended target.

"Why did you tell the old drunk to pick me?"

I just looked at him, my grey eyes flashing in confusion until it finally clicked: he knew I wanted him to be saved in the arena.

"Because I want you to win. Because we all know that I have the biggest target on my head because I had the best training score last year and I am the biggest threat to the Capitol. I want you to win Cato."

His icy glare seemed to bore into my soul as the words poured out of my mouth. It was true, I was the one painted with a huge 'X' on my forehead. I was the one who made the Capitol upset, not him.

"I don't need you to save me Fire Girl. I'm not like your precious Lover Boy; I can take care of my own self."

Cato's words rung through my dreams that night. Is that why I had asked Haymitch to save him? Had I thought him to be like Peeta or replace him as Peeta? Maybe, I didn't really know. All I knew was that in a matter of hours, I would be getting ready for the Tribute Parade, sponsors lining the streets trying to figure out if they wanted to sponsor the Girl on Fire once again.

"She doesn't love me; she loves the idea of Lover Boy and you know it Haymitch."

"You don't know that for sure boy. She was adamant that I save you in the arena this time and not her. I just don't think…"

* * *

I woke up to find out that we were already in the Capitol. I didn't have very much time to change before we were once again escorted back to the Remake Center. The process wasn't as long or as tedious this time since my prep team had been working on me regularly since I had moved to the Capitol with Cato. When Cinna came in, dress bag in hand, I knew he was up to something by the look in his eyes.

"You and Cato will match. It's a mix between District Two and Twelve; you will both wear armor, but the fire will consume you both. Without harm, of course."

I nodded, letting him change me into the armor that was similar to Clove's last year, but more revealing and beautiful. He placed a gold crown on my head, then placed a black cape around my shoulders, igniting them both with the same synthetic blue flame he used last year.

When I looked in the mirror, the creature before me was breathtakingly terrifying. She looked like a goddess of death, unforgiving, and cruel. She was me, and she wouldn't let anyone ever forget her.

"I'm still betting on you Katniss; You have the potential to win these things once again. It was once again, a pleasure to be your stylist."

He added one more item to my ensemble, only to see it was my mockingjay pin. I looked at him, tears filling my eyes before I hugged him lightly.

"Thank you"

It was the only thing I could manage to respond, and I knew what he was playing at by giving me the pin: he wanted me to keep the fire burning.

* * *

Everyone was talking in small groups, but not in the same way it had been last year. Last year, the only groups were the separate districts, mentors, and stylists conversing. This year, everyone was intermingling, due to years of friendship with one another. I stayed close to Cato's side, not really wanting to converse with the people that I would end up killing or who would end up killing me.

"Would you like a sugar cube?"

I turned to see Finnick Odair behind me, offering the sugar cubes that were meant for the horses that pulled the chariots. I shook my head, turning my attention back to Cato's discussion with the male tribute from One, Gloss, and the female tribute, Cashmere who was his sister. Finnick laughed lightly in my ear, which caused a shiver to go down my spine.

"Haymitch said you weren't very friendly, but that's okay. Finnick Odair, District Four Victor and Sex God."

He outstretched his hand to me and I just gave him a look of indifference. Who would introduce themselves to someone like that? The stylists soon began ushering everyone to their specific chariots and I had never been more thankful than I was right at that moment. Stepping in our chariot, Cinna instructed us to not smile, and don't play the crowd. Look as unforgiving as possible.

"That shouldn't be hard with the dead slug and brute boy."

Haymitch snorted at his own joke and I gave him a scowl. I wasn't in the mood for his antics, or anyone else's for that matter. Cinna nodded and let us go, reminding us that holding hands was definitely okay for this. I stared straight ahead; the flames flickering off our costumes were bright enough to light the night sky.

I jumped slightly when I felt Cato's large hand encase my own, but eventually relaxed into the comforting feeling of his hand around mine. The crowds cheered as we passed them, but Cato and I looked straight ahead, our brutality and edginess radiating off us as we neared the end of the procession. Once we reached the endpoint, our costumes stayed lit, unlike last year that flickered out for the speech. I was sure Cinna had a hand in this, and I was afraid for his safety. What would Snow do to him if he was a rebel?

"Welcome tributes. Your honor is saluted, your bravery exalted. Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds, be ever in your favor."

The horses began pulling the chariots away as soon as the speech ended. When they finally stopped, Cato helped me off the chariot and Effie came over to congratulate us on our "wonderful performance". I smiled lightly at her and followed her to elevators, heading back to the penthouse that I once shared with another blonde haired, blue eyed boy.

As we entered the penthouse, a wave of déjà vu washed over me. It was as if nothing changed, and instead of Cato beside me Peeta was there. I touched the intricate vases, all of them untouched since the last time I was here. I sighed, looking to Cato, noticing the way he was watching me. He knew I was thinking about Peeta; I could see it in his eyes.

"You two better get to bed, it's going to be a big day tomorrow!"

I headed towards my room, changing out of my costume as quickly as I could before taking a much needed shower. I remembered my last night here as a tribute, talking to Cato only hours before we went into the arena; he had used me then, could he be using me now?

I shudder at the memory of him throwing me against the building, his hands wrapped tightly around my neck. He had changed since then, but in small ways. He held me after my nightmares sometimes; in the mornings I could find breakfast already made for me and a steaming mug of tea waiting for me. That wasn't the brutal monster from Two. That was the real Cato, the one who I barely got too see. I changed into pajamas and headed for the rooftop, wrapping the silk robe around me tightly as the wind picked up slightly.

"Remember this Fire Girl?"

I turned to see Cato leaning up against the building, a cool smirk played on his lips and I couldn't help but to smile.

"Yes, I remember it very well. It's where you used me, threatened me, and talked me out of going with Peeta in the Games."

He walked over, standing next to me and looked down to the crowds below us. His gripped the rails slightly, as if deep in thought over something he would never tell me.

"This time I can't talk you out of it. Haymitch already said you and I are in the Career pack with Brutus, Enobaria, and Odair."

I nodded and looked around at the sights. The Capitol was somewhat beautiful at night with the lights and music in the streets, but I couldn't help hating the place at the same time.

"I'm sorry for wanting to protect you. I know what you mean now; I felt like I needed protect Peeta last time and I failed, so protecting you before myself seemed like the right thing to do."

He scoffed at me and looked directly at me this time; his eyes searching my own for something I couldn't place, or at least, something I didn't want to acknowledge.

"I can take care of myself Fire Girl. You forget that I trained my whole life for this that I was born to be a Victor of the Games. I've done it once, and I will do it again."

* * *

The next morning I prepared myself for training. Haymitch advised us that this time we show all our strengths right off the bat, considering these people were already experienced killers and already knew what we were good at. But what he hadn't expected what that we would only have one day of training, and the scores would be announced that night. Everything was being pushed ahead, by Snow I presume, so he could make quick work of getting rid of me. Effie had escorted us to the elevators but left us to go down by ourselves. I sighed in relief; as much as she was growing on me, I didn't want her coddling me right now.

When we entered the training area, we noticed everyone was off doing their own thing. Finnick and his District partner Mags were tying knots, Brutus and Enobaria practicing hand to hand combat. The sibling tributes from One were practicing with swords and spears, while the others were going through the survival stations. I sighed lightly when I saw that the archery station was open and I made a mad dash for it. I was itching to get my hands on a bow, and this was the perfect opportunity for it. So I began shooting targets, and then the instructor moved me onto moving targets after I hit the still ones bulls eye every time.

That's when I noticed the whole place went silent. I lowered my bow to see that every single person in the room had stopped to watch me shoot. Even Cato, who rarely showed any emotion, had a look of complete pride in his eyes as he watched me take down target after target. I blushed lightly and decided to switch to the knife throwing station. It would be useful to know how to use different sets of weapons, especially in the next six hours we would be given our scores for the Games. I pick up a small knife, flashbacks running through my mind as I remember Clove having a similar knife to this in the Games. I bite my lip and aim it at the target a few yards away. A pair of arms entrap me around my middle, and cool voice tickles my ears as they spoke.

"You're stance is wrong. Stand like this…"

The person repositions my stance a bit, taking hold of my arm, and letting the knife release as they let go of my arm. The knife sinks dead in the middle, and I turn to see Cato smirking down at me with a playful glint in his eyes.

"Thank you. I'll have to remember that in the arena."

He doesn't let go of my middle as I try to move away from him. I look up at him, confusion swimming in my features. Why wasn't he letting me go? Was it for the star-crossed Victors image?

"You're wearing your ring."

I look down at my hand to notice that I haven't taken the ring off since our first return to the Capitol. The diamond sparkles brightly and I can't help but to think of Peeta, who's birthday is engraved into the platinum band. I nod once and wriggle my way out his grasp.

"I guess I forgot I was wearing it."

He laughs and shakes his head, his eyes registering a small amount of hurt.

"We both know why you're wearing it, and it's not you forgot about it."

My blood runs cold and I stop, registering the hurt that his words have brought me. Why did that bother me so much?

* * *

_The Gamemakers watched intently as I strode into the training area. I knew showing them my archery skills wouldn't work, but instead decided on something that would make me unforgettable once again. Mags had taught me how to make fish hooks and nooses while at the knot tying station. I grabbed a dummy, laying it next to me as I fashioned a noose, stringing it from one of the trees in the survival station. I painted the unforgettable words, something that only the most prominent in the Capitol knew about. The look on their faces as I left made me feel pleased, knowing I showed them up once more. Seneca Crane was hung in dummy form from the tree in the training room._

A twelve, the highest score a tribute could get was given to me. Haymitch, Effie, and Cinna grew quiet around me; they knew it wasn't because I had guts; it was because I was meant to be taken out first in the Games. I had to be eliminated, and the Gamemakers would be sure of that with my score. Cato tensed beside me as Caesar read my score, undoubtedly upset that I had outshone him or made myself such a large target in the Games. I excused myself from the living room, heading towards the rooftop.

I had done this last time after my score of eleven, but this time, I ran for an entirely different reason. I ran because I didn't want to hear the condolences, I didn't want to be coddled. I knew that I would have to die this time around and Snow would make sure of it. I knew that I would be the biggest threat in the arena. But I also hadn't anticipated becoming close with some of the other Victors, and I hadn't anticipated the ever growing, more confusing feelings I had for Cato. Did I really have feelings for Cato, or was it the heightened pressure and atmosphere that everyone was feeling?

* * *

The day of the interviews was the hardest for everyone. Effie had broken down the moment she saw the dress that Cinna had planned for me to wear to the interviews. Cato and Haymitch, much to my displeasure, had been strategizing for the both of us the entire morning, leaving me out for most of it because, as Haymitch puts it, I have as much personality as a dead slug. I sighed, letting my prep team wax, pluck, curl, powder, and lather every part of my body they could get their hands on. Cinna had given them instructions that he would finish my make-up and hair, for he had special plans for it.

Once the prep team was done, they each gave me a silent, teary goodbye, knowing this would be the last time they would ever get to see me alive again. When Cinna had entered the room, I saw the sadness in his features that everyone on our floor held. I smiled lightly, letting him put the beautiful white gown on me. I looked at the dress in awe, recognizing where I had seen it before.

"This was supposed to be my wedding dress, wasn't it?"

He nodded solemnly, adjusting a few minor details before he began the make-up process.

"Haymitch had wanted me to put you in something else, but I thought this would do better in lieu of sponsors."

I smiled once again as he finished the base, adding highlights in every so often to my features.

"Now, whatever you do, do not lift your arms above your head until I give you the signal too, alright? I'll be in the audience, just look for me if you need me."

He smiled at me and I nodded, giving him a small hug as Effie came in to remind us that we needed to head to the studio for the interviews. This was definitely going to be a long night.

* * *

So far, every tribute so far has made a small dig at the Capitol, except for the morphlings from District Six, who were obviously to under the influence to really understand what was going on. I had been antsy all night, which Cato seemed to feed off of because he was becoming surly and anxious as well. Haymitch told me that I needed to try and play it up a bit like I had done last year, try to show some sort of personality if I even had it in me. I couldn't help but to laugh at that; last year had been disastrous if it hadn't been for Cinna's beautiful fire creation that had the crowd wanting for more, and Peeta's declaration of love to me.

_Peeta;_ I wonder what he would have thought of all of this if he was still here. He would no doubt try to keep us all in line, trying to figure out a way for both of us come out in one piece. I sigh just as the assistant leads me up to the stage, where I hear Caesar announcing my name and motioning for me to come on stage. I sigh and walk out, keeping my gaze cold and somewhat unforgiving, going against everything that Haymitch had just said to me. Caesar smiles, taking my hand and looking me over with that fake elation etched into his features.

"My, Miss Everdeen! This creation is simply stunning! Would you mind showing the audience the whole dress?"

I looked into the crowd to see Cinna nodding his head at me, giving the signal to start twirling. So I did, and before I realized it, my beautiful white wedding went up in smoke and ashes. The audience cried in horror, then fascination at my now black wedding gown. I looked to see Cinna give me another nod, and I left my arms to see that he had transformed me into a mockingjay.

* * *

I tossed and turned in the bed, unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Ever since tonight's incident with the dress, I found myself uneasy and afraid for Cinna. What had he done? Snow I'm sure was watching me turn into a mockingjay, and I'm sure Cinna just made his own death sentence doing that. I groan, sitting up and staring out the window, watching the midnight sky and stars light up in all their beauty. I got out of bed, padding down the hall to Cato's room. I doubt he was awake, but for some reason, I felt compelled to see him in that moment.

I knocked on the door lightly, before walking in and seeing him sit on the edge of his bed in deep thought. I closed the door softly behind me, making sure not to alarm him too much as I made my way over to him. I placed my hand on his shoulder; he turned and looked at me with those icy blue eyes of his and I forgot why I had truly came into his room. Had I wanted comfort? Reassurance? I wasn't sure until he opened his arms to me, and I indulged myself in his offer. I curled up in his lap, putting a hand on his chest as his well chiseled arms encircled around me.

"Are you afraid to go back into the arena?"

I was a bit startled by his words, but he was right. I was afraid to go back into the arena. I was afraid to relive every nightmare that I could possibly think of. I nodded my head and snuggled myself closer to him, listening to his steady breathing. I was afraid, and even more so, I was afraid to lose everyone I loved because of my stupid actions.

"Yes, Cato, I'm afraid to go back into the arena."

He left it at that, picking me up as he stood and moved me into his bed before climbing in with me. I curled back up to his chest, running my fingers up and down his biceps lightly. Before I knew it, I drifted off to a dreamless sleep. For the first time in a year, I didn't have a single nightmare.

* * *

We awoke early the next day and were escorted onto the Capitol hovercraft with our stylists. This was it; this was the end of my life. I had said my silent good byes to everyone, and I was prepared to die and keep Cato alive at all costs. Cinna had tried to get me to eat, but I just didn't have it in me. Once we landed in the catacombs underneath the arena, I began shaking. I wasn't allowed to say goodbye to Haymitch or Effie, but I knew that they knew I was still thinking of them.

I showered and Cinna handed me the skin tight arena outfit, braiding my hair as I dressed myself. I looked over at him, tears threatening to spill out but I couldn't do that to either of us.

"I'm still betting on you Katniss. Just remember who the real enemy is out there."

I nodded and found the tears escaping once again. Cinna pulled me into a quick embrace as the announcement came to enter the tubes. I looked at him, fear evident in my eyes as I entered the glass tube, only to see Peacekeepers rush in and drag Cinna away. I began screaming, pounding on the glass in an effort to save him. But then it clicked; Snow wanted me to see Cinna be taken away. He wanted to throw me off guard; he wanted to unhinge my already unstable mind.

The tubes began to rise, and I found I couldn't stop the tears, panting heavily as a bright light blinded me. Once I got my bearings, I looked around to see that this arena was no place for the Girl on Fire. Water surrounded the Cornucopia and each tribute stood on spokes. I looked around to see the District Six morphlings to my left, Cashmere from One on my right, and a few places down from her stood Cato, poised and ready to enter the action at a moment's notice. There was no countdown this time, no voice of Claudius Templesmith to announce the beginning of the Quarter Quell. Only the sound of the gong could be heard, and several people diving into the water.

I dove in, swimming as best as I could towards the Cornucopia. The water seemed to pure salt, undrinkable without bringing sudden death to yourself. I reached the beach, running as fast as I could towards the Cornucopia. I could see the silver bow gleaming in the sun light, a beautiful sword next to it. I grabbed the bow and sheath, immediately loading up, readying myself to take out anyone who dared come to close. I saw Brutus and Enobaria come up beside me and begin picking through the weapons; I hadn't seen Cato since before the gong sounded and I was getting worried. That's when I saw someone going straight for me; tall, muscular with shining blonde hair. I sighed in relief, knowing he made it out okay.

The blood bath had been one of the hardest things to go through; the District Six morphlings both died at the hands of Enobaria, while Blight, the man from Seven, was skewered by Gloss. Districts Eight, Nine, and Ten never made it off their pedestals. Districts Five and Six didn't make it passed Cato's sword. We had decided to split up into separate Career groups in order to cover more ground. Cashmere, Gloss, Enobaria, and Brutus went east while Finnick, Cato, Mags, and I went West in order to find Johanna Mason from Seven and Wiress and Beetee from Three. I didn't understand why the Careers would want them in their group, but they were the best when it came to force fields and other technology.

It seemed like we had been walking for hours when the cannons started going off. I cringed at the sound, only to feel Cato wrap an arm around me and pull me closer to him. I swallowed hard and kept walking, staying as close as I could to him. Mags and Finnick had been deep in a conversation, although I'm not quite sure how they communicated. Mags had a thick district accent and must have had a stroke at some point in her life for her speech to be so garbled. But, Finnick must have been close to her to understand her, and I left it at that. We decided to camp out for the night, and Cato offered to go get us some fire wood. Before he took off, he lost his footing on the rubbery jungle floor and went flying into the force field, being knocked back on his bottom, his head hitting the ground hard.

"CATO!"

I panicked; I was supposed to be keeping him alive and I had failed miserably at it. I checked him for a heartbeat, but I couldn't find it. I began crying, the emotions running high as I banged on his chest as hard as I could, trying to wake him up.

"CATO! YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP! CATO!"

I felt someone pull me away from his body only to see Finnick rush over to his side and begin… wait… what… Finnick is _kissing_ Cato? I watch in horror until I realize what exactly Finnick is doing; I've only seen my mother resuscitate a person once in my life. Normally, they were too far gone to try and save them. But Finnick seems to think he can bring Cato back. And he does, and I pull myself out of Mags' grip as Cato sits up and coughs.

I run straight to him, knocking Finnick out of the way in the process. I jump in his arms, knocking him backwards into the ground.

"Cato… Cato don't leave me…"

I feel the hot tears streaming down my face as he wraps his arms around my body tightly. Was I acting for the cameras? Or had I really minded that he almost just died?  
"I won't Katniss… It's okay… I'm right here…"

He whispers soothing words into my ear as I cuddle in his arms, a crying mess. Boy I bet either Haymitch was happy on my improved acting skills or he was cursing me because no one wanted a sappy tribute to sponsor.

"We should stay here for the night. I'll get the firewood."

Cato nodded in response as I stayed curled up in his arms, afraid to let go and have something else happen to him.

Mags had found some kind grass and began weaving small huts for all of us to the sleep in. I hadn't left Cato's side, and I knew the Capitol audience was eating it up. He had a burn mark from where his body hit the force field, but it wasn't anything to serious from what I could tell. He was tired, though he would never admit it. I sighed, until I heard the anthem begin to play and I nestled myself further into his embrace. Seeing all those faces would haunt me, and I knew, that soon enough my face would be plastered in the sky.

"Don't think like that Katniss."

I looked up to see Cato peering down at me; tired lines around his eyes seemed to be more prominent in the moonlight. Had he known what I was thinking about?

"Cato… We know they won't let us both live this time…"

He shook his head at me, pulling out a long chain that he had hidden under the arena uniform. I looked at it closely, noticing a gold charm hanging loosely from the beautiful chain. He took the chain off, handing it too me so I could inspect it more closely. I noticed the charm was in the shape of flames, and I swallowed hard as I turned it over to see something I would have never had expected to see:

_0507_

My birthday had been engraved into the flames, forever gleaming in the moonlight.

"My birthday… Cato…"

I looked up to see him watching me, his eyes full of seriousness as he spoke.

"I do care for you Katniss… and I will do everything in my power to make sure you make it out of this arena alive."

* * *

Finnick had returned a short time later with Johanna, Wiress, and Beetee in tow. They all looked worse for wear, but even as previous Victors, the Games are still hard on people. I had noticed Beetee gripping onto a small coil of wire, as if it was the boundary between life and death, and I wondered if they all had a trick up their sleeve. Cato and I shared a small hut that night, clinging to each other as if it was our last night together. Well, for all we know it could very well be our last night together. I could hear the others talking as I drifted in and out of sleep:

"Finnick, she has no idea what is going on. Tomorrow half us of could be wiped out for all we know."

Finnick sighed, tossing a small piece of grass into the now blazing fire. We had no worries, being with the Careers and all. Besides, at this point all that was left as a threat was District Eleven.

"I know Jo, but I feel bad about leaving her in the dark about it."

The next morning, I was pulled awake by a screaming Finnick, Johanna, and Cato for me to get Wiress, Beetee, and Mags out safely. I was dazed, but I knew something was going on. I could see the electrical storm above us, an eerie fog surrounding the jungle, and the waves crashing loudly to the beach. I grabbed my bow, taking off full speed while pulling the other three along. I could hear Brutus and Enobaria shouting in the distance, ordering Gloss and Cashmere to make sure we all got to safety.

I had no idea what was going on around me; the earth shook as we ran, and I could feel the fog licking at me heals, causing a searing pain to course through my body. I tried to keep everyone moving, but Mags after eighty years of life, wasn't able to keep up with us. She stopped dead and so did I, watching her silently as she said a silent good bye to all of us and threw herself into the fog. I felt tears threaten to spill but I tried to keep us moving. I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do. The arena seemed to be up in chaos as I looked for any means of escape.

Until someone knocked me to the ground.

I looked up to see Johanna pull a knife out, and begin tearing into my arm. I cried out in pain and tried to push her off, but before I knew it, Cashmere hit me in the temple and the whole world went black.

* * *

I awoke to the sound on monitors beeping, the lights bright as I tried to open my eyes. Were the Games over? Was I alive? What was all that beeping? Where was I? I sat up slowly, and looked around to see I was on a hover craft. I panicked; where was Cato? Where was everyone? I looked to my left to see Haymitch behind the glass, talking to someone, waving his arms around wildly. I felt a jab of pain in my arm to see I had stitches. _That's right, Cashmere knocked me out as Johanna began tearing into my arm. _I heard the door open and turned my head to see Haymitch walking in. His skin seemed to have yellowed more since the last time I saw him. He sat in the chair across from me, his features sullen and hard. What the hell was going on?

"Haymitch… What happened?"

He sighed lightly, tapping his fingers on the wooden arm rest of the chair.

"Well sweetheart, after the Quarter Quell announcement, the Victors and Capitol Rebels made a plan to break you and everyone else out of the arena. Everything had been planned; the early detour into the arena, not being able to say goodbye to family and friends, your wedding dress… Every district is at full scale rebellion against the Capitol."

I sat silently as he spoke, letting all the information sink into my head. A rebellion had been formed after all? There were people in the Capitol who wanted to rebel their ever loving government?

"Who made it out Haymitch?"

He cleared his throat and leaned forward in the chair, fiddling with his hands a bit more. He was hiding something from me.

"Finnick, Beetee, and you were pulled out from the arena. Cashmere and Gloss died in the arena fending off the Peacekeepers, and during the mayhem, Chaff killed Brutus and Cato killed Brutus. Wiress was killed by the Capitol. Johanna and Enobaria are being held hostage as we speak."

But he was forgetting someone, someone very important to me was left out of that list.

"Haymitch… Where's Cato?"

His gaze dropped to the floor, a flash of pain entered his gaze as he told me the most terrifying thing since I was told I had to go back into the Games:

"Katniss… Cato was taken by the Capitol."


	7. Part Seven: The Mockingjay

_**I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**_

_**Part Seven: The Mockingjay**_

_I awoke to the sound on monitors beeping, the lights bright as I tried to open my eyes. Were the Games over? Was I alive? What was all that beeping? Where was I? I sat up slowly, and looked around to see I was on a hover craft. I panicked; where was Cato? Where was everyone? I looked to my left to see Haymitch behind the glass, talking to someone, waving his arms around wildly. I felt a jab of pain in my arm to see I had stitches. That's right, Cashmere knocked me out as Johanna began tearing into my arm. I heard the door open and turned my head to see Haymitch walking in. His skin seemed to have yellowed more since the last time I saw him. He sat in the chair across from me, his features sullen and hard. What the hell was going on?_

"_Haymitch… What happened?"_

_He sighed lightly, tapping his fingers on the wooden arm rest of the chair._

"_Well sweetheart, after the Quarter Quell announcement, the Victors and Capitol Rebels made a plan to break you and everyone else out of the arena. Everything had been planned; the early detour into the arena, not being able to say goodbye to family and friends, your wedding dress… Every district is at full scale rebellion against the Capitol."_

_I sat silently as he spoke, letting all the information sink into my head. A rebellion had been formed after all? There were people in the Capitol who wanted to rebel their ever loving government? _

"_Who made it out Haymitch?"_

_He cleared his throat and leaned forward in the chair, fiddling with his hands a bit more. He was hiding something from me._

"_Finnick, Beetee, and you were pulled out from the arena. Cashmere and Gloss died in the arena fending off the Peacekeepers, and during the mayhem, Chaff killed Brutus and Cato killed Brutus. Wiress was killed by the Capitol. Johanna and Enobaria are being held hostage as we speak."_

_But he was forgetting someone; someone very important to me was left out of that list._

"_Haymitch… Where's Cato?"_

_His gaze dropped to the floor, a flash of pain entered his gaze as he told me the most terrifying thing since I was told I had to go back into the Games:_

"_Katniss… Cato was taken by the Capitol."_

It had been over three weeks since Cato was taken by the Capitol; three weeks since District Twelve had been bombed by the Capitol, and three weeks since I had been fished out of the arena by District Thirteen. Yes, District Thirteen was alive and thriving, well hidden in underground bunkers, cut off from the rest of the Districts. When they had first brought me here, I held a grudge against the place. Why had they been left out of the Hunger Games? Why were they left untouched by the Hunger Games? Haymitch had tried to keep me calm, but nothing seemed to work.

Until the bombings.

Gale had been smart enough to lead the people of the Seam and some of the town folks into the woods, where a District Thirteen hovercraft awaited them. I had been relieved to know my family and Gale's had made it out safely, as well as some of the Hob vendors, but there were something I needed to know.

"Did the Mellarks make it out?"

Gale shook his head, his face full of grime and soot from the fires that ate up our home. I nodded once, but the last thing he had said to me pushed me over the edge:

"Madge and her family didn't make it out either. The bombs hit them first."

Since the bombings, I found myself drifting in and out of a dreamless sleep. At some point I noticed the medic bracelet wound around my arm, the only words making sense to me were in bold black letters: **MENTALLY DISORIENTED**. I knew I was unhinged; my home and friends had been destroyed, I had been thrown back into the Hunger Games, my stylist had been brutally beaten before my eyes, and Cato, the brutal monster that I had grown to care for, had been taken from me by the Capitol. Haymitch would stop by every so often during my awake periods, giving me little bits of news on the rebellion.

"District Two is still divided. Half of it is Rebel citizens and soldiers while the other half is still working with the Capitol."

"Beetee and Gale are working on making you a new bow sweetheart."

"Districts One, Four, Fix, Six, and Seven are finally in rebel hands. They're sending out more troops tonight to overtake Eight, Nine, and Ten."

I would always just nod and begin to tune him out. None of it mattered to me anymore; Cato was gone and so was my home. But today was different, today Haymitch made me do something with myself.

"That's it sweetheart! I'm tired of you moping around! Get up, get dressed; you have a meeting to attend too."

I gave him a cold glare as I got out of bed and slowly dressed myself, not really caring too much about my appearance. Gale had said something to me once about they were looking for someone to be a face of the rebellion, someone to be a rallying point for all the rebels. I had tuned him out half way through his little speech, but I wondered if they had finally found their face.

* * *

"You are the Mockingjay, Miss Everdeen."

The words hung in the air like a thick blanket. Once Haymitch collected me, we were escorted deep into Thirteen and brought into a conference room. At the head of the table sat a grey-haired woman with cold steel grey eyes. Her features were sharp and pointed, and she looked to be about fifty.

"This is President Alma Coin, president of District Thirteen and of the Rebellion."

She smiled coldly at me, and from then on I knew not to trust this woman. The way she spoke and carried herself reminded me of Snow, and therefore I lost any trust that I could have possibly built with her.

Now she wanted me to be the Mockingjay, the face of the Rebellion. My mind was flooded with thoughts of what this would all mean in the end. I would be the one the Capitol was after. I would be making myself Public Enemy Number One.

"What do you say Miss Everdeen?"

I shook my head; I was just another piece in the Games, and I refused to be that any longer.

"No. I'm tired of being used by everyone. I refuse to be the Mockingjay."

I heard Haymitch groan and saw him throw his hands in the air in pure exasperation.

"Sweetheart, have you not been paying attention? The Districts already view you as the symbol. You already are the rallying point. If you don't do this for the people, do it for Peeta."

I looked to Haymitch, my eyes swimming with emotion. Peeta would have wanted me too, and he would have been there for me every step of the way. If I did this, it would be on my terms.

"If I do this, I have my own stipulations."

President Coin nodded and gestured for me to continue. What did I really want with all of this?

"First off, if I'm going to be the Mockingjay, I want to personally help out with all the war efforts."

"No, absolutely not. We can't have you getting shot going into the Districts."

"Then you find yourself another Mockingjay."

Her face showed anger, but she nodded to my first stipulation.

"Secondly, I want Cato with me, by my side at all times. I want all the Victors rescued from the Capitol and exonerated for any crimes they may have done against the Rebellion, unbeknownst to them or not."

Coin's eyes grew ominously dark as I spoke, but she once again agreed. For all we knew, they could be tortured for information as we were in the safety of District Thirteen.

"Lastly, I want to be the one who kills Snow."

She laughed at this, her eyes filling with amusement as I told her my last condition to being the Mockingjay.

"I'll flip a coin with you for that one Miss Everdeen."

* * *

After the meeting with Coin, her right hand man Boggs escorted me back to the hospital, giving me the rundown of what I would be expected to do as the Mockingjay.

"Before you head out to any of the Districts, President Coin would like you to shoot a few propos to let the people know you are alive and well, and to send a message to both the Capitol and Rebels alike."

I nodded my head before I felt him touch my arm lightly. I looked to see him holding a black notebook towards me, my mockingjay pin sketched in a metallic marker on the cover.

"Cinna wanted you to have this if you agreed to be the Mockingjay. He was sure that you would be able to do it."

I took the notebook, opening the first page to see a sketch of me wearing body armor, my mockingjay pin pinned onto the front of it. I smiled lightly; the whole thing screamed that it was a Cinna creation, when I noticed the beautiful writing on the corner of the page:

_I'm still betting on you._

I nodded at Boggs, tears brimming my eyes when I walked back into the hospital. Cinna had already known I would be the Mockingjay, and he had made sure I was the best dressed Rebel that anyone had ever seen.

* * *

A week after I had agreed to be the Mockingjay, Coin decided that we should begin filming the propos for the Rebellion. Haymitch had assured me he would be there the whole time, and that made me feel a little bit better about it. We knew we'd be filming in the remains of District Twelve, under heavy guard of course in case any Capitol soldiers were still looming around there. Boggs had put together a special team of soldiers that would escort me to the propos and the Districts when the time came. Gale and Finnick were among those recruited to become my body guards so to speak, while Haymitch would monitor everything from District Thirteen with Beetee.

The director of the propos was another Capitol rebel by the name of Cressida with her assistant Messalla, and two cameramen dressed in insect like shells with the cameras built in. I sighed inwardly as Messalla prepped me in my Mockingjay suit, braiding my hair into its signature braid and applying minimal makeup as possible. It wasn't the same without Cinna; all of the dressing me up, readying me for my first public since the arena brought back memories of the Games, of Peeta and Cato. I must have blanked out on the ride to Twelve, because Gale nudged with his elbow as the projection screen came alive.

There he was; as brutal and cocky as ever, dressed in a beautiful tailored suit the same color as my eyes. _Cato._ He was speaking with Caesar Flickerman about the arena break out, the rebellion, and me. There was something different about him, something that I couldn't quite place yet.

"So, Cato, do you think the rebels truly have a fighting chance in all of this?"

He scoffed, shaking his head with that deadly smirk of his.

"Well Caesar, I'm sure the Capitol could pull a number on all of them. I mean, really? Katniss as their martyr, their Mockingjay? She was just a girl from the slums of District Twelve, not particularly beautiful or anything. She had about as much personality as a rock; sure, she was deadly and could shoot, but what good would that really have done her in a combat like situation?"

That's what I had noticed differently about him; his charade, well our charade of loving one another was gone. He had seen for what I truly was, and it hurt more than anything in the world. I hadn't seen the numerical pattern, in which his legs bounced, or the slight wringing and cracking of his fingers. I hadn't seen the tugging of his ears as he spoke. I had seen the Career from Two, ready to take me out in the bloodbath.

"We've landed in District Twelve, Katniss."

I nodded and stood up, grabbing my bow and arrows. My new bow was designed by Cinna to go with the Mockingjay garb, but Beetee and Gale had brought it to life. It seemed to hum at my touch, and only operated on my voice. I was grateful for it, knowing one day it could come in handy. As we stepped off the hovercraft, I stopped. When Gale had said they burnt the place to the ground, he hadn't lied. What was left of the Hob lay in a metal heap on the ground; the Justice Building was now reduced to a pile of rubble. I felt my throat go dry; maybe I couldn't do this after all. Maybe I couldn't be the Mockingjay. All of this was done because of me, because I had given up and didn't fight back in the first games. Because I had sang Rue to sleep, dressed her in flowers and wouldn't play by the Capitol's rules.

Finnick touched my arm, giving me a reassuring smile in the process. I looked at him, tears blurring my vision. He knew what it was like to be used by the Capitol; he knew what it was like to lose everything that was important to him.

"Don't let them break you, Katniss. You can do this; both Gale and I are here for you."

Finnick had a girl back home named Annie Cresta. Annie had been a Victor too, and like myself, only by chance. She watched her District partner be beheaded in the arena, and went mad shortly afterwards. Then one of the dams broke and she was the only one who survived. Annie had been taken by the Capitol not long after we were fished from the arena, but he had been holding up a lot better than I had been.

I nodded, and walked with him slowly to the others. I looked to Gale, to see his emotionless expression clouded by sadness and guilt in his eyes. Something sparked within me, and for some reason I knew I had to keep fighting. I had something worth fighting for; Prim. I would not let my sister grow up in fear of the Capitol or the Games a moment longer. I would not let Rue, Peeta, and Madge's memories go unavenged. I walked towards what used to be the bakery, looking over the remains. I could still see the beautifully decorated cakes, the fluffy pastries still in the window. I could still smell the freshly baked bread, with Mr. Mellark carrying it out from the back room. I could still see Peeta, flour sprinkling his features, tossing me the burned bread in the rain, saving mine and Prim's lives, giving me hope to survive.

"I want to let the Capitol know that I am alive and strong. Cato may be right; I may be just a girl from the Seam with a talent for archery. I may not be all that beautiful but I have something the Capitol doesn't have; I have hope. Hope that one day children will grow up with starvation or fear of being reaped into the Hunger Games. Hope that one day things will be good again. Hope that one day, our predecessors will look back on us and know that these horrors should never happen again. I want President Snow to know that he can burn down my District; he can take the ones I love from me; but if I burn, you burn with me."

* * *

The night we returned from District Twelve, Cressida and Beetee began editing the footage and would prepare to attack the Capitol airwaves to get it shown to all of the Districts. After our time in District Twelve, I found myself emotionally exhausted, drained of feeling anything. Prim had noticed and took to cuddling up beside me as we lay on the hospital bed. Having her next to me almost made me feel like I was back home again. As if we had never left the Seam, or been reaped into the Hunger Games twice. I played with her long hair, noticing that she was no longer the little girl at the Reaping. She was almost as tall as I was now; her blue eyes seemed to be weighted with tiredness and stress. She and my mother both had been helping out in the hospital area of Thirteen. I swelled with pride as she told me they were going to be training her as a doctor. My Primrose a doctor; it's something more than I could have ever hoped for with her living in District Twelve.

"Katniss, do you really think Cato meant all he said about you today on the TV?"

I stopped playing with her hair for a moment, thinking of earlier today when Cato had hit the newsfeeds. The look in his eyes, the cockiness of his voice; the Cato on the television today was not the Cato I had come to know.

"I'm not sure Little Duck. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

* * *

"KATNISS! WAKE UP! WE DID IT!"

I jumped out of bed, my stance in attack mode as Finnick Odair came running into the bedroom with only his underwear on. I gave him a glare as he pushed the door open, a look of pure joy on his features.

"Katniss! Beetee hacked into the system! You've been all over the newsfeeds today!"

I gave him a blank stare as the information settled in. I had been announced to all over Panem as being alive; I guess there was no turning back now.

"That's great Finnick. I'm sure Coin is happy with the progress."

He smiled more, running from my room and back to his own, yelling in celebration. I sat back down on the bed, unsure of what to truly think. Would this mean danger for Cato and the others?

* * *

The propo had been aired several times for the last few days. Plutarch and his assistant Fulvia had made their way back to District Thirteen after helping out some in District Ten with rebel propaganda. They were now teaming up with Cressida and Coin to figure out how to get more propos in when Boggs approached me.

"Coin is having you sent to District Eight. There's been a massive bombing there and she wants you to film another propo there with the Rebels."

I nodded once, staring off into the concrete flooring. Boggs sighed, scratching the back of his head lightly as if trying to find the best way to put things.

"Odair, Hawthorne, and I will be going with you. Your mentor will be keeping an eye on things here along with Beetee."

So it was settled; I would fly out to District Eight as soon as I was prepped, camera crew in tow. Gale and Finnick were given strict instructions to keep me as safe as possible. Haymitch had instructed me to wear an earpiece at all times so he could keep contact with me. The more I thought about it, the more the idea appealed less and less to me. I wondered if Cato and Snow were working on counterattacks against the rebels; I wondered if Annie, Johanna, and Enobaria were safe. What if I said something that caused them certain death?

We landed in Eight a few hours after Boggs told me of our assignment. We were greeted by the sight of burning buildings, wounded civilians, and rebel soldiers scattered about. My insides turned as I saw the make shift hospital in the town square. Smells of rotting, burning flesh, and debris filled my senses and I wasn't sure if I would be able to hold out much longer without throwing up. Gale must have seen my hesitation because he guided me up to the hospital, Finnick guarding my other side and Boggs brought up the rear. A large woman came out with bandages wrapped around her forehead, a large gun in tow as a she spoke to us.

"You must be Katniss Everdeen. I am Commander Paylor, leader of the rebels of District Eight."

I nodded in acknowledgement as Paylor and Boggs started up a conversation about the bombings.

I looked around to see all the faces of the dead and wounded; I felt tears spring to my eyes as a little girl sat on the ground next to her dead mother, calling out for her to wake up, even though she never would again. Would that be Prim if Gale had not gotten them out in time? If I had ever decided to have kids, would that have been my daughter after the Quell? My thoughts were racing when the alarms went off. The whole District seemed to go into a mad panic; those with artillery began positioning themselves for the oncoming attack, while Boggs and Paylor began shouting orders to the foot soldiers.

I had been so disoriented that I let out a cry of shock as Finnick pushed me to the ground and covered me with his own body. That's when the first wave of bombs hit; that's when I saw the little girl crying for her dead mother be blown to bits, joining her mother in the afterlife.

"ODAIR! HAWTHORNE! GET THE MOCKINGJAY TO SAFETY! ANOTHER WAVE IS EXPECTED TO HIT IN FIVE MINUTES!"

I felt myself being pulled upwards again, and Gale handed me my bow and arrows, his eyes telling me everything I needed to know: this was a war zone now. No propo, just shoot. Stay alive. We ran for cover as Capitol soldiers stormed the town square, with the Rebels holding them back as long as they could. Finnick pulled me the right, yelling at me to load my bow as we came across a platoon of Capitol soldiers. I did as I was told, firing my arrows as fast as I could load them, watching them fall to the ground as we shot at them.

I felt the earth shake and I could tell the next wave of bombs had begun. Gale grabbed me this time and led me towards the top of a building where Paylor had been standing with a few of her soldiers. I saw the hovercraft aiming for us, my eyes widening in realization and I yelled it, knowing Gale would get the hint and back me up on it:

"Geese!"

When Gale and I would hunt geese, we have developed a system so neither one of us would shoot the same bird. He caught the message and began shooting in our formation, taking down the hovercrafts down one by one. Paylor watched with ever increasing astonishment as one of my arrows detonated itself in one of the wings of the hovercraft. I had no idea that the camera crew was filming us from a distance, and that Beetee had taped into the Capitol's systems once again and that I was displayed all over Panem, fighting side by side with rebel leaders, taking down the Capitol.

* * *

Coin had not been happy with my unauthorized combat in Eight. Boggs, Haymitch and Paylor had stood up for me, saying I had given the rebels a new found hope with me fighting alongside of them. I hadn't been asked to do any propos for a while, considering my insubordination on my last District visit. Beetee and Cressida worked their magic once again, and getting it on the air in a matter of hours. But Snow had been working just as diligently, and only after an hour of having the propo run throughout the feeds, Beetee lost control to the Capitol.

Cato had the floor once again with Caesar, but Beetee hadn't cut in on Coin's orders. Everyone wanted to hear what he had to say. This time he looked a bit thinner, more rugged than he had before. The boy I was knew was officially gone.

"So Cato, tell me, how do you feel about the recent propaganda strikes feature Katniss in them?"

He thought for a moment before speaking. His tone seemed off, even a bit colder than it normally was.

"I wasn't too surprised. Sure, I thought when the hovercraft lifted up her body I thought they had finally snagged her, putting me one step closer to victory. But things happen, and now that I know she's alive, I have something to fight against."

His fingers moved slightly displaying what seemed to be a 'V' shape. That was odd; I hadn't noticed that before.

"Do you believe that the rebels should call a ceasefire?"

"Yes I do Caesar. They're only making it worse for themselves. If they surrender now, I'm sure President Snow would be a bit more lenient with their punishments."

There it is again; his three fingers are splayed out. He seems to be somewhat sweating, his legs twitching slightly as he spoke. I didn't get it; was he trying to tell us something?

"There have been rumors of bombings in the Districts; what are your thoughts on this?"

He scoffs now, rolling his eyes dramatically. His fingers are splayed in fours now on both hands, his foot now tapping rhythmically. I get it now, I know what he's trying to tell us: 23:44; at 11:44 something will happen. It's 11:30 now; I wonder what he's trying to tell us.

"I think that the rebels should give up before their bunkers give out. That Katniss should step up and turn herself in to the Capitol before she detonates her own death."

That's it: the Capitol is going to bomb us. Cato was trying to warn us that District Thirteen was going to be bombed. The conference room was in frenzy, people making phone calls, sounding alarms, and going on lockdowns. Cato looks directly at the camera, as if locking eyes on me from so far away.

"And I won't let the Girl on Fire get away this time."

That's when he's hit in the head, blood splattering on the floor and the feed is cut off.

I'm paralyzed with fear as Boggs and Haymitch begin to escort me down into the bunker. What was going on? If he was helping the Capitol, why would he warn us about the bombings? Why would he address it so nonchalantly as if lives weren't at stake? I'm lead into another room where Finnick is tying knots in a small length of rope. I sit next to him, staring off into my own little world when he finally speaks.

"You know, when I first saw you two together, I thought for sure both of you were faking that romance. But when we were in the arena, and Cato fell into that force field, you were devastated at the thought of losing him. And you truly showed how much you felt for him. And after I revived him, the way he held you told me how much he cared for you."

He stopped tying his knots to look at me, his sea green eyes filled with regret as he spoke.

"Katniss, Cato knew about the Rebellion since the Quarter Quell was announced. There was a reason he stayed behind, because the day we broke you out of the arena it had been decided that Cato would get captured and play the double agent."

I looked at him, anger coursing through my veins as he spoke. They all knew about this and yet no one bothered to tell me? And why now? Why wait to tell me so late in the game?

"Why didn't anyone tell me Finnick? You of all people should know how I've felt about all of this!"

He sighed; his beautiful features were full of shame and hurt. He did know how I felt without having Cato here. It's how he felt because Annie wasn't here with him either.

"Because we couldn't Katniss; for a while there you were just a shell, and we didn't want to put either one of you in more danger than we already had."

That voice didn't belong to Finnick, but to Haymitch. I felt the anger and bile rise up in me once more, and it was everything I had to not come across the table and claw his eyes out right then and there.

But yet, something kept gnawing at me; Cato's appearance was different than the last time he was interviewed by Caesar. What was Snow doing to him behind closed doors? I didn't have much time to think as the first wave of bombs hit, making the whole bunker vibrate. I closed my eyes, trying to take as many deep breaths as I could. I hated being in Thirteen; it reminded me too much of my father's death in the mines. And now here I was, sitting in a bunker as the Capitol bombs Thirteen, all because I am here and the Mockingjay.

* * *

Four bombs within a ten minute period; if it hadn't of been for Cato's warning, most of Thirteen would have been obliterated. Coin had us on a twenty-four hour lock down until they were sure that no more bombs were headed this way. I had stayed close to Finnick that night; both my mother and Prim were helping out with the patients while Haymitch had stalked off to talk to Plutarch, Beetee, and Boggs. I assumed Gale would be with his family, and decided to leave them be right now.

"Did you love Annie right away Finnick?"

He was back to tying knots again, his brow furrowed in concentration tinged with sweat.

"Not at first. She sort of… snuck up on me."

I nodded my head, staring off into the stone bunker walls. Had Cato snuck up on me? Had I really loved him like Finnick said I did?

"I know you noticed something was wrong with him tonight Katniss. We all saw how you closed up from the rest of us when you saw him. Snow is willing to do anything to break you. And it's harder to pull yourself together than it is to fall apart."

I took in his words and nodded solemnly. Finnick Odair, the bronzed God from District Four had finally fell apart. The only thing that held him together were his knots and our friendship. Maybe that was what holding me together; maybe knowing I wasn't alone in this kept me stronger than I could have imagined.

* * *

After the lock down, Coin ordered us to make a propo telling us we were all alive and safe. Messalla immediately began prepping me, while a team of body guards was made up so I could venture outside. Haymitch could see my look of indifference and told me it would be very short and I could go back to moping around afterwards. I sent him a glare; he should be one to talk about moping around. We made our way outside, large craters denting the earth from the bombs that were dropped. I shuddered lightly, moving away from them as quickly as possible.

But then I smelled something, and before I actually saw them, I knew what they were: roses. The genetically engineered roses that Snow wore to cover up the scent of blood on his breath; my pulse quickened and my palms began to sweat. The message was clear, and it was intended for me only: I can always find you. Boggs was quick to turn his attention to what I was looking at, and quickly ordered the two guards that accompanied us to take them to the lab to check them for anything poisonous. Cressida motioned for me to stand directly next to a crater, Messalla and the camera men standing on either side of her.

"Now Katniss, just say that you are alive and well in Thirteen. Nothing can stop you from bringing the Capitol down."

I nodded and cleared my throat, ready to begin the simple sentences that would soon be aired all over Panem. But as I tried to speak, my throat ran dry. I could still smell the roses, even though they weren't there anymore. I tried once more, my voice shaky and my palms began to sweat even more.

"I am alive and—"

I couldn't finish the sentence; it was physically impossible for me to say the words aloud.

"I am—"

I couldn't do it; Cressida tried coaching me a bit more but I shook my head, the tears running down my face. I turned to see Haymitch and Finnick looking at me, and that's all it took. I began sobbing, running to Haymitch with my arms outstretched and threw myself into his embrace. He hugged me tightly as I cried into his shirt, what little makeup they had put on me stained the white fabric. Everyone around me began talking, wondering why I had all of a sudden burst into tears. This made me cry harder; Finnick's voice was pained as he told everyone what was going on.

"She's figured out how Snow is using Cato; everything she says will be used against him after last night's bombings and him giving it away, giving himself away as a spy."

I feel the snot dripping down my nose, my cries coming out as violent chokes as he spoke the words that I was feeling. Because, I am the only person who is damaged beyond repair if something happens to Cato.

* * *

Boggs had made it his personal mission to set up a rescue squad for all of the Victors who were being held in the Capitol. Haymitch had shot me with morphling during my breakdown, causing me to pass out for several hours while the mission was being planned out. When I woke up, I saw Haymitch sitting in the chair across from my bed, a silver flask in hand. I was still a bit groggy, but the emptiness it left in me was unbearable.

"What's going on?"

He sighed and sat forward, the flask still in hand as he told me what happened.

"Well, when you broke down Finnick told everyone what was going on. We gave you a shot of morphling to knock you out for a while. Boggs got angry and started making phone calls putting together a rescue squad for Brute Boy, Fangs, Mason, and Cresta."

I sat up slightly, my head spinning as I did so, trying to soak in the information.

"Who's all going on the rescue mission?"

He barks out a laugh, shaking his head and taking another swig from the flask.

"I volunteered, but Boggs ignored me. Probably one of the best calls he's made on something."

Haymitch is hiding something from me again, I can just tell by the way he's talking to me and making jokes at his own expense.

"Tell me, who is all going on the mission Haymitch?!"

He sighs again, looking to the floor, talking quietly as if to himself.

"You know damn well who went Katniss. His hand was the first to go up so he could bring Cato back to you."

I felt the tears threaten to escape again; why had Gale wanted to go and rescue Cato? He despised Cato, and hadn't said much of two words to him when we had come to Twelve on the Victory Tour. I swallowed hard, laying back on the bed and Finnick burst in the room, wearing nothing but a hospital gown, and no underwear underneath.

"I WANT TO GO! HAYMITCH! KATNISS! TELL THEM I'M ALRIGHT TO GO! YOU HAVE TO LET ME GO 'MITCH! PLEASE!"

This wasn't the Finnick Odair I knew; this was the Finnick Odair who's lover was being held hostage by the Capitol, being tortured for all we knew for information she knew nothing about. Boggs followed in shortly behind him, shell shocked at the sight before him. Haymitch guffawed and stood up, clasping Finnick on the shoulder.

"Finn, buddy ol' pal, you need to stay here and look after our Mockingjay. Someone has to protect her while Gale is off on the mission!"

I sat up again and swung my legs over the side, standing up slowly to make my way towards Finnick. He had a deranged look in his eyes, but not in the same way that Cato's held.

"Right, right… Someone needs to protect the Mockingjay. I'll protect her 'Mitch. I promise."

Haymitch smirked at him and made a beeline for the door. He must have been dealing with the communications for the mission. Finnick began fiddling with the rope again, muttering to himself about taking me down into the control room where Beetee was at creating new weapons for the Rebels. I blushed as he turned around, exposing his backside to me as he went towards the door.

"Finnick…. Um… pants?"

He stopped for a moment before realizing all he had on was the hospital gown and nothing to cover up his private areas. He struck a pose, giving me the most seductive look he could muster.

"Why do you find this… attractive?"

For the first time since I had been in Thirteen, I laughed. Boggs shook his head, utterly embarrassed at the sight. I realized then that this was the first time I had seen Finnick be the guy I had met before the start of the Quarter Quell. Maybe things would start to get better…

* * *

Something had gone wrong, I was sure of it. The rescue mission was supposed to be over hours ago, but still none of them returned. Haymitch and Beetee had lost communication with them half way through the mission, so Finnick was instructed to keep me busy until they returned. We had been tying knots on the control room, listening to Beetee and Haymitch go over some details in a new weapon when we heard the announcement: the hovercraft had landed. Finnick and I looked to each other, and then to Haymitch. Every emotion ran through my body in that moment: excitement, worry, elation, and contentment. I didn't even bother to hear what Haymitch had to tell us as Finnick and I sprinted towards the Hangar.

We reached the Hangar just in time to see Thirteen medics rush to the hovercraft, taking care of the wounded and leading them down to the hospital. I heard an airy voice call out to Finnick, and that's when I see her. No older than her early 20's, long and wild reddish brown hair and beautiful green eyes. This must be Annie Cresta. I smiled as they called out to each other, Finnick's pace picking up as he recognized his Annie. I turned back to the hovercraft; Cato still hadn't gotten off yet and neither had Gale. That's when I saw him; still tall and beautiful with beautifully sculpted muscles, even if they were a bit smaller. Next to him stood Gale with a bandage around his upper arm; I felt the tears sting my eyes, but I took off running towards them, the tears escaping as I got closer.

I threw my arms around him as I impaled him, sobbing once again as I felt the familiar muscles beneath my body and his familiar scent fill my senses.

"Cato…"

It was the only thing I could manage to say as the strong arms wrapped around my body. He was here, he was finally safe from Snow. I could protect him here; no one could touch him while I was here. I heard his deep voice whisper soothing words into my hair, and it made me sob harder. He was here… That's all that mattered to me.

"Katniss… Shh… It's okay… I'm here…"

I looked up into the ice blue eyes that I had missed so much. The blonde hair that stood up into spikes, the softness in his voice when he would console me from my nightmares of ghosts. I realized that as long as he was by my side, I was unstoppable.


End file.
